It sure is hard showing young children how to be grateful. Especially when they constantly see you getting them everything they need and provide for them. I struggled with this concept before Christmas time when I saw how spoiled my children were becoming with the presents. Also the fact that Audrey's Christmas list continued to get ten feet long! Seriously we would go into the store and she would see something she needed and say, "Oh, I better put that on my Christmas list!" She still is putting things on her Christmas list, even though her birthday is July. The scary thing is I think she believes she will be getting everything on her list, so I knew I needed to intervene.
I have read books, articles, and attended trainings on how to help my child's behavior improve. But I have never found one method that is the end all be all for my family's lifestyle, so I always combined ideas that I know will work for my kiddos and I give them a try. There was an article out there on Facebook awhile back talking about children being ungrateful and earning things that they took for granted, and it really made an impression on me. I came to the conclusion that I was going to reward my children for simple things, like a drama free bedtime or cleaning up after themselves. This is kinda out there because well kids should just do these things, however at a young age they need lots of practice and what better way to help them than with some positive reinforcement. When I catch my kiddos doing these things I give them a ticket. They then have the choice to use the ticket instantly or save it for later. The ticket is either 10 minutes on the iPad or tv time or can be used as $0.50. Since my children love television and the iPad, this is what the tickets are mainly used for. They want to watch a Bubble Guppy show, they will both share the cost of watching a show and give me two tickets.
I was a little skeptical that this was going to work, but it certainly has and I find that we are all a little more happier in the house. Now Audrey still asks for things and gets upset when she does not get her way, but when explained she hasn't earned something, she is beginning to understand that connection. I try not to reward for the same things daily, as I noticed that Audrey will key into those things and try to do them over so she can earn extra tickets. Smart kid, but little does she know she is conditioned to do the things without tickets now...hehe.
So maybe I will shoot myself in the foot for this approach with my kiddos, but it is working for now and even though we are still a little materialistic, at least we are showing some gratitude and even sharing is becoming as natural as it can for a 20 month old and a 3 1/2 year old.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Monday, February 10, 2014
Naps
It is such a bittersweet ending when one of your kiddos decides to no longer nap. Okay who am I kidding... when your kid decides to quit napping it is as if your one saving grace in the day is totally ripped out from under you! I loved nap time, especially when I could get both kids down at the same time. It was time for me to recharge my batteries and get a little "me" time. Most the time I spent cleaning up messes, but it was uninterrupted time to get those things done.
About four months ago, Audrey decided she was done napping, and honestly it was beginning to mess up her bed time schedule as well, so I guess it was about time. However, the time from about 5-7:45 is normally a rough time in the Evans' household. That is the time Audrey becomes very tired, irritable, and highly emotional.
It is almost a double edge sword because I know she could use a nap, however if she does nap she is up until 10:30 pm and that is not a good thing for tired mom and dad. Therefore, giving up nap is the smartest choice, but I find myself being crazy and irritable during this 5-7:45 time frame as well. I find my patience is shot and I become a crazy mom. I do surprisingly well up until this point of keeping my cool, even when major disasters and drama occurs, but it is almost as soon as my husband gets home from work, I am ready to "tap" out of being a mom and I just want a half hour to just get my composure. Although this never happens because we are in the full swing of dinner and then bath time or bed time routines. So I become a crazy lunatic, my husband attempts to help and our evening becomes a living hell until the kids are asleep. This really isn't healthy.
I guess what I need to be doing is drinking a bottle of wine while I cook dinner to try and calm my nerves until Tyler gets home, but this would get pricey and well it is quite a few calories. However I could manage just a glass, which would then save on wine, money, and calories. I also think that I need to be planning a craft or activity for Tyler to do with the kids after dinner so I can get that thirty minutes of "me" time. It may sound selfish, but honestly I am becoming a crazy mom by evening and I am not liking the results that it has on my blood pressure or the way the kiddos look at me. Talk about mom guilt there!
Regardless of what I decide to do, something needs to change and I have to help Audrey get through the cranky stage of the evening. Things probably are not getting better, as I am modeling some crazy behavior for her, so I guess if I want her behavior to improve I better start working on mine. So this evening I will be opening up a bottle of wine and pouring myself a glass, celebrating the small victory of getting through the day. I will stay calm and cool as Audrey becomes an emotional roller coaster and Ayden feeds off her emotion. If I am ambitious I will create a craft for Tyler to do with the kids and I will go upstairs and fold laundry or read so that I can have a few moments to myself and recharge before I become a professional book reader for the bed time routine. I am not doing all of this for me, but rather for my husband and kids because a happy momma is one to keep around!
About four months ago, Audrey decided she was done napping, and honestly it was beginning to mess up her bed time schedule as well, so I guess it was about time. However, the time from about 5-7:45 is normally a rough time in the Evans' household. That is the time Audrey becomes very tired, irritable, and highly emotional.
It is almost a double edge sword because I know she could use a nap, however if she does nap she is up until 10:30 pm and that is not a good thing for tired mom and dad. Therefore, giving up nap is the smartest choice, but I find myself being crazy and irritable during this 5-7:45 time frame as well. I find my patience is shot and I become a crazy mom. I do surprisingly well up until this point of keeping my cool, even when major disasters and drama occurs, but it is almost as soon as my husband gets home from work, I am ready to "tap" out of being a mom and I just want a half hour to just get my composure. Although this never happens because we are in the full swing of dinner and then bath time or bed time routines. So I become a crazy lunatic, my husband attempts to help and our evening becomes a living hell until the kids are asleep. This really isn't healthy.
I guess what I need to be doing is drinking a bottle of wine while I cook dinner to try and calm my nerves until Tyler gets home, but this would get pricey and well it is quite a few calories. However I could manage just a glass, which would then save on wine, money, and calories. I also think that I need to be planning a craft or activity for Tyler to do with the kids after dinner so I can get that thirty minutes of "me" time. It may sound selfish, but honestly I am becoming a crazy mom by evening and I am not liking the results that it has on my blood pressure or the way the kiddos look at me. Talk about mom guilt there!
Regardless of what I decide to do, something needs to change and I have to help Audrey get through the cranky stage of the evening. Things probably are not getting better, as I am modeling some crazy behavior for her, so I guess if I want her behavior to improve I better start working on mine. So this evening I will be opening up a bottle of wine and pouring myself a glass, celebrating the small victory of getting through the day. I will stay calm and cool as Audrey becomes an emotional roller coaster and Ayden feeds off her emotion. If I am ambitious I will create a craft for Tyler to do with the kids and I will go upstairs and fold laundry or read so that I can have a few moments to myself and recharge before I become a professional book reader for the bed time routine. I am not doing all of this for me, but rather for my husband and kids because a happy momma is one to keep around!
Friday, February 7, 2014
No Fear
Why is it that some children are born with no fear? And better yet, why did God feel I needed one of those children? Now I am not saying I am ungrateful for Ayden in my life, but boy this kid is a dare devil. He seriously wants to do everything himself and surpasses Audrey when it comes to physical activity.
Yesterday we went to Bounce U with Audrey's preschool. The kids have gone once before and they enjoyed themselves, however trip number two the place was no longer new and Ayden took full advantage of understanding what to do there. I feel bad a little as I kinda abandoned Audrey, but I really needed her to try things on her own and play with her friends on this trip. The first twenty minutes she just wanted me to dance with her...I can do that at home chica and I'm not sure everyone could have handled the moves I have. :) She was told to go play and of course it sent her over the edge and the tears began to fall. I literally looked like the meanest mom ever and she got attention and hugs from both her teachers, but eventually even Audrey was playing, climbing, and jumping...big step for my little princess!
Okay so back to Ayden. The kid was seriously climbing up the steps and sliding down the slides like he's been doing this his entire life. I even took him into the one bounce house that had a ball and even though he was plowed in the head multiple times, he kept going back for more. Not sure if that is a sign of having fun or lack of intelligence...only time will tell on that one. At one point he was climbing the largest slides and obstacle courses and squealing in delight. He was proud of himself and I had other parents impressed that a 20 month old was having more fun than some of the 3 year olds. I on the other hand was having a few anxiety attacks as he decided to literally climb mountains, but at least I know he is very capable physically.
Now this is only a brief example of his lack of fear, but recently it is showing up everywhere. He stands on tables and chairs like he has the balance of a tight rope walker, and he feels he can master the stairs all by himself. Now I am trying to allow for him to do the stairs by himself, but the whole standing on table thing has got to stop. Either that or we will have a similar chandelier breaking scenario that my brother attempted as a four or five year old. (Ever want to know that story, just ask Troy!)
I think that it may not just be a boy thing though, it may be a second child thing as well. I think being a second child and a boy are just bigger factors for the situation of no fear. Either way...I will continue to worry about Ayden's next dare devil trick and I will hopefully be there to catch him. If not, well lets hope he learns from his mistake, but I can guarantee he will be having to make mistakes a couple times before it sinks in. Sigh...the joys of having a child with NO FEAR!
Yesterday we went to Bounce U with Audrey's preschool. The kids have gone once before and they enjoyed themselves, however trip number two the place was no longer new and Ayden took full advantage of understanding what to do there. I feel bad a little as I kinda abandoned Audrey, but I really needed her to try things on her own and play with her friends on this trip. The first twenty minutes she just wanted me to dance with her...I can do that at home chica and I'm not sure everyone could have handled the moves I have. :) She was told to go play and of course it sent her over the edge and the tears began to fall. I literally looked like the meanest mom ever and she got attention and hugs from both her teachers, but eventually even Audrey was playing, climbing, and jumping...big step for my little princess!
Okay so back to Ayden. The kid was seriously climbing up the steps and sliding down the slides like he's been doing this his entire life. I even took him into the one bounce house that had a ball and even though he was plowed in the head multiple times, he kept going back for more. Not sure if that is a sign of having fun or lack of intelligence...only time will tell on that one. At one point he was climbing the largest slides and obstacle courses and squealing in delight. He was proud of himself and I had other parents impressed that a 20 month old was having more fun than some of the 3 year olds. I on the other hand was having a few anxiety attacks as he decided to literally climb mountains, but at least I know he is very capable physically.
Now this is only a brief example of his lack of fear, but recently it is showing up everywhere. He stands on tables and chairs like he has the balance of a tight rope walker, and he feels he can master the stairs all by himself. Now I am trying to allow for him to do the stairs by himself, but the whole standing on table thing has got to stop. Either that or we will have a similar chandelier breaking scenario that my brother attempted as a four or five year old. (Ever want to know that story, just ask Troy!)
I think that it may not just be a boy thing though, it may be a second child thing as well. I think being a second child and a boy are just bigger factors for the situation of no fear. Either way...I will continue to worry about Ayden's next dare devil trick and I will hopefully be there to catch him. If not, well lets hope he learns from his mistake, but I can guarantee he will be having to make mistakes a couple times before it sinks in. Sigh...the joys of having a child with NO FEAR!
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Play Dates
Okay so I guess I am a little late to this band wagon, but play dates are the BEST IDEA EVER!!!
Last week I put together with a couple of moms from Audrey's preschool a play date at our house. We needed to get things together for the kids' Valentines Party, so why not make a play date out of the ordeal. The moment I sent the text and told Audrey the countdown began! The play date was yesterday and the text was sent last Thursday, so you can only imagine the conversations with my chatty little girl.
Every morning Audrey asked how many more days and the joy and excitement only grew. Audrey even was well behaved because she would hate to lose the privilege of having friends over. (Why didn't I arrange this earlier?) Tyler had asked Audrey what everyone was going to play and she explained they would play princes and princesses. Ayden would have to be a princess though because there were going to be so many boys. When yesterday finally came, she literally woke up at the butt crack of dawn and it was the longest four hours ever to get the kids here.
Everyone arrived and the kids had a blast. Even Ayden stayed well behaved and attempted to share! I don't think too many prince and princesses were played with, but they all took advantage of all the toys! The kids all had fun and Audrey was very sad to see everyone leave the house. In fact she was planning the next play date the moment they pulled out of the driveway!
Needless to say there will be more play dates in our future and I am very excited for this. I love the fact that Audrey and Ayden have each other, but it sure is important for them to have friends as well. Talk about getting that life lesson taught early...mommy wins! However, mommies need the play dates as much as the kids because we actually can have an adult conversation, which I crave daily because you can only talk about princesses and trains for so long!
Here are to many more play dates in my kids' future.
Last week I put together with a couple of moms from Audrey's preschool a play date at our house. We needed to get things together for the kids' Valentines Party, so why not make a play date out of the ordeal. The moment I sent the text and told Audrey the countdown began! The play date was yesterday and the text was sent last Thursday, so you can only imagine the conversations with my chatty little girl.
Every morning Audrey asked how many more days and the joy and excitement only grew. Audrey even was well behaved because she would hate to lose the privilege of having friends over. (Why didn't I arrange this earlier?) Tyler had asked Audrey what everyone was going to play and she explained they would play princes and princesses. Ayden would have to be a princess though because there were going to be so many boys. When yesterday finally came, she literally woke up at the butt crack of dawn and it was the longest four hours ever to get the kids here.
Everyone arrived and the kids had a blast. Even Ayden stayed well behaved and attempted to share! I don't think too many prince and princesses were played with, but they all took advantage of all the toys! The kids all had fun and Audrey was very sad to see everyone leave the house. In fact she was planning the next play date the moment they pulled out of the driveway!
Needless to say there will be more play dates in our future and I am very excited for this. I love the fact that Audrey and Ayden have each other, but it sure is important for them to have friends as well. Talk about getting that life lesson taught early...mommy wins! However, mommies need the play dates as much as the kids because we actually can have an adult conversation, which I crave daily because you can only talk about princesses and trains for so long!
Here are to many more play dates in my kids' future.
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Why Blog?
So I have really been getting into the whole blogging scene. In fact I crave writing nowadays and I am so glad I do have some down time to do this. You know that quiet time after the children are asleep if I am not utterly exhausted, during the weekend, or even now I have found that Audrey will work quietly on handwriting activities while I write during Ayden's nap. Now I am not sure why this writing is giving me such pleasure, but it is a hobby and an outlet and I am going to keep going with it. In fact one day I wish to have my blog in other places than just Facebook, but I need to research further how to do this. If anyone knows...please do not hold the information back. I also hope to compile some of these experiences that I have posted to create a book. Maybe that is a far fetched idea, but I guess everyone needs long term goals too, right?
Now onto the reason for blogging. So it makes me feel good and it gives me an outlet, but it also allows for me to get things out. After reading a very inspiring book for moms, The Artist's Daughter by Alexandra Kuykendall, I realized that I could not move on with my life and find my happiness until I let the baggage go. Even if I didn't think it was bothering me, digging deep down and discovering how crazy my life was last year and that it was okay to feel overwhelmed was important to me. I still have quite a bit to work through, but I have begun believing in myself again and realizing that even though I may not be working, I still can inspire children, and bonus the kids are my own. Now yes, being a stay at home mom is hard work, I mean you never get a break and you are never able to call in sick, but boy is it worth it! (Although I still miss being a teacher and having my own time as well...such a torn feeling.)
I suggest that if you have time to read the book, you should, especially if you are going through some transitional situations or you are just looking for a little inspiration that what you do is important as a mom.
Now onto the reason for blogging. So it makes me feel good and it gives me an outlet, but it also allows for me to get things out. After reading a very inspiring book for moms, The Artist's Daughter by Alexandra Kuykendall, I realized that I could not move on with my life and find my happiness until I let the baggage go. Even if I didn't think it was bothering me, digging deep down and discovering how crazy my life was last year and that it was okay to feel overwhelmed was important to me. I still have quite a bit to work through, but I have begun believing in myself again and realizing that even though I may not be working, I still can inspire children, and bonus the kids are my own. Now yes, being a stay at home mom is hard work, I mean you never get a break and you are never able to call in sick, but boy is it worth it! (Although I still miss being a teacher and having my own time as well...such a torn feeling.)
I suggest that if you have time to read the book, you should, especially if you are going through some transitional situations or you are just looking for a little inspiration that what you do is important as a mom.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Boys will be boys...sigh
All I have to say is that having a boy has changed my life and respect for those mommas who have more than one! Honestly how do you raise this breed and not pull out all of your hair?
It amazes me how busy boys are. Seriously they are content playing with a car, and then in 2.2 seconds they go into complete destruction mode. I feel that I am never able to put my guard down with Ayden, and the way they are wired is a tough one for me to understand.
Lately Ayden loves to find different ways to get people's attention. I give the kid credit for his efforts, but it sure does add a little embarrassment on my end. Last weekend we decided at the last minute to go out to lunch. The kids were enjoying themselves, eating away, when Ayden decided his carrot stick was a great way to whack the waitresses and get their attention. Really Ayden? I think there is a better way to get the girls besides hitting them with vegetables, but the girls all smiled and swooned over him, so in his mind, vegetable whacking is the best way to get the ladies!
I took the kids to the grocery store for a milk run, and Ayden got a wild hair up his butt and decided he was going to attempt to eat people as they walked by. Now he did not bite anyone, but as each person walked by the cart, he made the obnoxious crunching/biting noise. You should have seen the crazy looks he got. A guy even took his chance and was waving at Ayden and got a little too close and nearly got the dinosaur claws and growl that came with it. He laughed, but I continuously apologized and turned red in the face.
Now at home it is just as bad, but at least it is in the privacy of our own home. Ayden loves to attack Audrey. He pretends to be a monster and tries to "eat" her. Literally slinking across the floor and chomping like a rabid dog. Audrey runs and screams and this only fuels the fire for Ayden to attack more. Ayden did this recently and to aid in a better visual, think about the creepy creature from the movie The Grudge. Now needless to say I never let him "get" Audrey, but it is his new favorite game and the more Audrey freaks out the better it is for Ayden.
I could definitely point out a few more things that boys do, but I am going to stop here, as I am just exhausted from this little explanation. Don't get me wrong, I love Ayden to death and appreciate him and his creative ways, but boy I have to work out every day just to obtain the energy to keep up with this kiddo and he is only 20 months! So mothers with boys and that are still sane...I tip my hat to you and give you more credit than anyone feels you deserve. You DESERVE that CREDIT...believe me!
It amazes me how busy boys are. Seriously they are content playing with a car, and then in 2.2 seconds they go into complete destruction mode. I feel that I am never able to put my guard down with Ayden, and the way they are wired is a tough one for me to understand.
Lately Ayden loves to find different ways to get people's attention. I give the kid credit for his efforts, but it sure does add a little embarrassment on my end. Last weekend we decided at the last minute to go out to lunch. The kids were enjoying themselves, eating away, when Ayden decided his carrot stick was a great way to whack the waitresses and get their attention. Really Ayden? I think there is a better way to get the girls besides hitting them with vegetables, but the girls all smiled and swooned over him, so in his mind, vegetable whacking is the best way to get the ladies!
I took the kids to the grocery store for a milk run, and Ayden got a wild hair up his butt and decided he was going to attempt to eat people as they walked by. Now he did not bite anyone, but as each person walked by the cart, he made the obnoxious crunching/biting noise. You should have seen the crazy looks he got. A guy even took his chance and was waving at Ayden and got a little too close and nearly got the dinosaur claws and growl that came with it. He laughed, but I continuously apologized and turned red in the face.
Now at home it is just as bad, but at least it is in the privacy of our own home. Ayden loves to attack Audrey. He pretends to be a monster and tries to "eat" her. Literally slinking across the floor and chomping like a rabid dog. Audrey runs and screams and this only fuels the fire for Ayden to attack more. Ayden did this recently and to aid in a better visual, think about the creepy creature from the movie The Grudge. Now needless to say I never let him "get" Audrey, but it is his new favorite game and the more Audrey freaks out the better it is for Ayden.
I could definitely point out a few more things that boys do, but I am going to stop here, as I am just exhausted from this little explanation. Don't get me wrong, I love Ayden to death and appreciate him and his creative ways, but boy I have to work out every day just to obtain the energy to keep up with this kiddo and he is only 20 months! So mothers with boys and that are still sane...I tip my hat to you and give you more credit than anyone feels you deserve. You DESERVE that CREDIT...believe me!
Monday, February 3, 2014
Weekend Mishap
It has been awhile since I have had a weekend mishap to report, so I knew I was due to get a crazy event in the house.
Picture this....Audrey is lunch and makes that announcement that she has to pee. I am still confused why she makes this announcement every time, but I simply tell her to go and that is when the chaos began. I was getting ready to prep my own lunch when there was the whimper from the bathroom. When I asked Audrey what was wrong she frantically explained she was peeing. So I opened the door of the bathroom to take note she was indeed peeing, but not in the toilet. Audrey had waited too long, and indeed was peeing on the floor because she couldn't get her pants off fast enough. Now I yell to Tyler to get me a towel, and he hands me two paper towels. Really? Are two paper towels going to take care of a pool of urine that is the size of Lake Michigan that is beginning to form another Great Lake around the toilet? I finally get snarly and ask to get some of our old towels to wipe up the mess, and I am dumbfounded why this is even a hard concept to deliver on.
I get Audrey out of her saturated bottoms, dry her off, and tell her to just go sit in the tub upstairs and I would be up there soon. I then proceed to clean up the mess and start the laundry. As I begin to walk upstairs to bathe Audrey I find her sitting on the stairs. Confused why she is not in the bath, she informed me I was taking too long and she thought I was not okay so she was coming to check on me. Sorry Audrey I did not run upstairs immediately, but I kinda had a mess to clean up. I get her in the tub to clean up, and ask her what she learned from all this. Her response, "Peeing on the floor isn't a good idea." Seriously, what about lets not hold it to the last minute? So after explaining how she needs to not hold her pee until the last minute, she was running to the bathroom a lot that day. I didn't have the energy to get mad at Audrey, and honestly I couldn't get mad because we did learn a lesson, but dealing with pee was not on my lunch time agenda.
I guess there is never a dull moment in our house, and pee will happen.
Picture this....Audrey is lunch and makes that announcement that she has to pee. I am still confused why she makes this announcement every time, but I simply tell her to go and that is when the chaos began. I was getting ready to prep my own lunch when there was the whimper from the bathroom. When I asked Audrey what was wrong she frantically explained she was peeing. So I opened the door of the bathroom to take note she was indeed peeing, but not in the toilet. Audrey had waited too long, and indeed was peeing on the floor because she couldn't get her pants off fast enough. Now I yell to Tyler to get me a towel, and he hands me two paper towels. Really? Are two paper towels going to take care of a pool of urine that is the size of Lake Michigan that is beginning to form another Great Lake around the toilet? I finally get snarly and ask to get some of our old towels to wipe up the mess, and I am dumbfounded why this is even a hard concept to deliver on.
I get Audrey out of her saturated bottoms, dry her off, and tell her to just go sit in the tub upstairs and I would be up there soon. I then proceed to clean up the mess and start the laundry. As I begin to walk upstairs to bathe Audrey I find her sitting on the stairs. Confused why she is not in the bath, she informed me I was taking too long and she thought I was not okay so she was coming to check on me. Sorry Audrey I did not run upstairs immediately, but I kinda had a mess to clean up. I get her in the tub to clean up, and ask her what she learned from all this. Her response, "Peeing on the floor isn't a good idea." Seriously, what about lets not hold it to the last minute? So after explaining how she needs to not hold her pee until the last minute, she was running to the bathroom a lot that day. I didn't have the energy to get mad at Audrey, and honestly I couldn't get mad because we did learn a lesson, but dealing with pee was not on my lunch time agenda.
I guess there is never a dull moment in our house, and pee will happen.
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