The Quiet House

It is late and I am still awake.

This rarely happens that I get out of the house and I come home and I am not completely exhausted.  Normally I go to bed by 9 pm, and I am sure I will be needing a coffee IV tomorrow morning, but there is something bittersweet about a silent house.  I love that no one is tugging at me asking me to play or for a snack.  I mean the cat has obviously hunkered down for the night because she did not even greet me as I sit typing at the dining room table.  The quiet is bliss and I am able to just be me.

So why am I writing about this anyway?  The reason I have for writing is because I can.  I am not being bothered by anyone and my thoughts are clear and you know what I cannot stop thinking about?  I can't stop thinking about how much I want to talk to my family that is slumbering upstairs.

Seriously, what is wrong with me?  I just typed an entire paragraph on how I enjoy the quiet and the ability to just be alone, and I am then completely doing a 180 and talking about how much I want to talk to the family.  I don't know what it is, but I was only gone for three and a half hours and I missed my kids and Tyler so much.  Maybe I need to get out more, but I even took the time to write notes to the kids and place them at their settings at the table.  Have I become that crazy mom?  Yes friends, I have, and I think that it is okay because I am starting to realize how blessed I truly am.  Now that the fog of my sickness has begun to clear, I realize that without Tyler and the kids I used to be Lindsay.  Now that I have everyone in my life I have become Audrey's mom, Ayden's mom, or Tyler's wife.  I some days crave to be Lindsay without any responsibilities, but then again I realize what I have in front of me, and well even though the chaos can get loud and messy, I wouldn't trade it for the world!

And it is okay for you all to remind me of this post when I am pulling my hair out two days from now because I have lost sight of what I have to be blessed about.  For now I will just be grateful:)