The Great Tooth Fairy Failure

Isn't it crazy how we have expectations and want things to just be perfect for our children?  We want to create these perfect scenarios for our children, but we do not live in a perfect world, so isn't this sending mixed messages to our children?

After the little fiasco we had with Audrey's tooth needing to be pulled, I was so sad that after she went to sleep I had to scramble to create this great tooth fairy experience. Before this all happened, I knew I had at least a year to create the perfect tooth fairy experience.  I needed to get the tooth pillow, and the perfect sleeping picture of Audrey.  Why the picture?  Have you been on Pinterest lately?  They have all these great ideas and I so wanted to pay the $7.95 to have Audrey sleeping with the tooth fairy hovering over her.  I wanted this experience to just be perfect, and the urgency to make it perfect increased when the mom guilt fell over when she lost the tooth so earlier than expected.

This urgency became so overwhelming.  I was literally searching ideas and snapping at Tyler because he wasn't able to help me.  I finally found a letter on Pinterest explaining to Audrey what the tooth fairy does with the teeth, and why she didn't see the tooth fairy.  Adding sparkles to the dollar bill and some glitter on her windowsill was suppose to be the icing on the cake to make this not so perfect scenario perfect.  I snuck the letter in an envelope with the glistening dollar bill and hoped this was going to be a good experience.

The next morning, Audrey ripped open the envelope and pulled out the dollar bill and was super excited.  As for the letter, it was gently tossed aside.  Really?  All she needed was the money?  Why did I bother with all the stress, when it was just the little magic of glitter on the dollar bill that made her happy?  

It is this feeling of needing to be perfect, creating perfect situations, to try and make life warm and fuzzy that is beginning to suck all the energy out of me.  I am trying obviously too hard, and it is simple that keeps my children happy!  I know this and I know that many moms out there know this, but we still try to be better.  Why?  We always want to improve things, but when it comes to be being moms, shouldn't we just be happy we are able to embrace this title as mom and know that we are the best for our kids?  Easier said than done...I know.

Through all this tooth fairy drama, I have come to the conclusion that I created the perfect scenario for Audrey, but it wasn't necessary.  My daughter loves to dream and loves fairies.  The letter worked for her, when she made the connection the tooth fairy was like Tinkerbell and the tooth fairy left "pixie dust" to help her make wishes.  She totally ate that concept up.  She was excited about the dollar, but was eager to hand it off to me because I was running out of cash.  This girl's heart, I tell you!

Our tooth fairy experience was good, however I am sure a dollar under the pillow would have been just as good.  I created more work for myself than necessary, but it was worth it!

Parents...here is to us doing our best and creating memories, but not obsessing over the memories being perfect!

A Not So Fun Saturday:(

I have always had the fear of my kiddos getting hurt.  I have truly run scenarios of "what ifs" through my head and it just scared me to think about how I would handle it or better yet, keep it from happening.  I was hoping we would avoid a trip to the ER all together with kids, but with the way Ayden runs around I was sure we would take that trip one day.

On Saturday, we were excited to spend time as a family.  We had decided we were going to go hang out at the shopping center and get a few last minute things for Christmas and go out to lunch.  It was warm and the kids were happy.  We had finished up our stops and we had decided to wait in the line for a complimentary carriage ride.  It was a long line, but I had snacks for the kids and we were going to do something fun.  The kids got antsy, but they were overall being well behaved.  We only had one family ahead of us and they decided since the line was shorter the carriage rides were going to be longer.  Double bonus, right...free and a worthwhile ride for the long wait?

It was going to be our turn next, and the kids were hopping around and doing a little running, but we are talking about Audrey here, so believe me it wasn't a full blown sprint.  Somehow Audrey tripped over Ayden and face planted it into the cement.  She had her hands in her pocket, so when Tyler scooped her up I could see that her face received some good road rash.  My heart broke for her, but I was a little frustrated with her because we had just said slow down before someone gets hurt.  However my frustration turned to fear real quick when I saw the blood, lots of blood from Audrey's mouth.

I took a closer look and realized the face plant resulted in pushing her front tooth back to the roof of her mouth.  My first instinct was to get her to the car and clean her up.  I told Tyler to open the car and after a few reminders of grabbing Ayden and opening the door, I got her into the car and began to see that we needed to get her to the hospital.  Thank goodness I am obsessed with wipes and it was not a cold day to have them frozen since they stay in my car.  I was literally cleaning blood off both of us and I could just see the fear and worry in her little tear swollen eyes.  It was killing me, and I felt like I did not know what to do.  I told Tyler to try the dentist, just by chance they would be open, but then knew our next stop was the ER.  Of course the pediatric dentist was closed, and we got into the ER immediately.  Seriously, if you ever have to go to the ER, 1:30 pm on a Saturday is a great time to go!

Everyone fell in love with Audrey, and of course her long drawn out explanation of how the entire scenario went down.  One guilt trip she did throw on me was she asked me why I didn't catch her when she fell?  I know, totally made me and the nurse tear up...we totally had our mommy moment together.  She did great allowing everyone to look at her and when we got the clear of no concussion or need for stitches I was a little relieved.  My only concern was the tooth that was all jacked up.  The doctor gave me a couple options, and I decided taking her to the emergency dentist was the best situation for Audrey at this point.  We get checked out, the doctor even called the dentist office for us, and we began our trip to the dental office.  Ayden decided he needed to nap, which made this entire situation a little easier, and we got Audrey into the dentist quick.  They took x-rays and determined her adult tooth wasn't damaged, and said the baby tooth was going to be a quick pull because it was just hanging there.  This is when things got real.

Audrey said she was hungry and just needed the tooth to come out, so the very young and hesitant dentist was ready to give it a shot.  I am not sure this guy ever worked on a child's mouth before as he just looked really nervous.  I wasn't concerned by this, but I wanted to explain to him that she was going to be fine and we just needed to get this done.  They gave Audrey some numbing gel and she lost her ever loving mind.  It tasted terrible and she let everyone in the office know.  I finally calmed her down and the dentist pulled it out quick.  So quick it went flying and got lost down in the bib thing they put on her.  And then there was more blood.  Seriously I do not do teeth well, and then I am there dealing with all this blood, and I just did not have time to get squirmy.  I had to be brave because I just told Audrey through this entire process she needed to be brave too.

It was done!  The entire start to finish catastrophe was only three hours, but boy I was whipped.  Audrey was hungry and I was willing to take her wherever she wanted to go.  The turkey wanted to go back to the shopping center, Shadow Lakes, and go to Buffalo Wild Wings like we had planned to do for lunch.  She ate like a champ, and asked for frozen yogurt, and of course she got it because every time Tyler and I looked at her we just got ill that she went through this trauma.  Audrey finished her frozen yogurt like a champ and wanted to go shopping.  Really child?  You just went through all this and you want to shop.   We went to Michaels and purchased our gingerbread house kit and finally went home.

We got her to bed and she slept soundly, and even had a visit from the tooth fairy, which by the way mom was not ready for!  She had stated she hoped the tooth fairy left her twenty bucks, however as much as I wanted the tooth fairy to leave twenty bucks, that is setting the bar pretty high.  After Audrey was sound asleep, Tyler and I finally began to breathe again and our guilt and worry set in.  How could we have prevented this?  Were we not watching the kids well enough and that is why this happened?  What could we do to not have anything like this happen again?  Seriously the list went on and still goes on.  However, I believe in receiving signs or messages, and  I stumbled across this scripture that can give me some peace about the worry that has consumed me the past couple evenings.

 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]? ~Matthew 6:25-27 (NIV)

Now this doesn't mean I am not going to worry, but I need to remember that we cannot keep our kids safe from every accident.  Accidents do happen and we just need to keep ourselves prepared on how to handle those situations.  

Showing off the battle wounds.

You can't be sad with frozen yogurt in the picture!

Just One More

Boy that title could mean so many different things couldn't it?  First off that title could be a great name for a bar, as I recall when I was a bartender how often I heard that phrase, but that is not where this post is going.

Yesterday, we had the little girl from across the street come over for a quick play date after Audrey got out of preschool.  She was excited and I was a little hesitant because I did not know if I could get all that I needed to get done with an extra kiddo in the house.  Yet, I was so happy to see that they played so well while I baked oatmeal bars, cooked dinner, cleaned the kitchen, and folded two loads of laundry.  In between all of that I was able to assist with the building of a leg princess castle, referee a fight between Audrey and Ayden, and clothe six princess barbies.  I have never felt so accomplished on a Wednesday afternoon after preschool as I did this Wednesday!

This then brings me to my next thought, would one more kid add to the chaos I already struggle to deal with, or would it make things easier?  I have heard that as you add more kids things get easier. Now I am not convinced of this because I have only experienced this greatness once, however now that I reflect upon it, whenever I have added another kiddo with my kids they seem to just all have fun.  Mind you the kids have all been over three that have been added to my two, this may be something to think about as well.  I honestly don't think adding a baby to my life would make it easier, but maybe an older kiddo would be okay?

I am sure if Tyler is reading this he is seriously shaking his head saying there is no way in hell that this is going to happen.  However, I wonder if this would help with my chaos?  I keep saying this, and maybe it is to help validate the thought of another kiddo, or maybe it is because I truly feel I need to add to our little family?

Lets face it, I am a terrible pregnant lady.  There is no glow about me, and I am normally found with my head in a toilet for at least six months.  But just because I may not have another kid of my own, I know I could love another kid if we were to adopt or even become foster parents.

It is amazing how certain events can go smoothly to sway your decisions that you thought were solid.  Not even a week ago I was completely okay with no more kids.  I feel that I can only be as good as I am with what I have.  There are days I feel defeated and not enough just for two kids, is it smart to stretch myself even thinner than I currently feel?  Only time will tell, and give me a month and my feelings will probably change, however it is hard to ignore the feelings I currently have.

Car Seats

Ugh...car seats!  That is all I have to say right now because they are just a part of my life, and will continue to be for a very long time.  Here is my beef though, why is it that car seat laws very from state to state?  Lets look at this in the grand scheme of things, I think we could all agree that regardless of the state we live in we all want our kids to be safe.  Car seats are not made for a specific state, but sold nationally, so explain to me why we have to have differently regulations for each state?

I guess what it breaks down to is that it is just annoying that there is not a standard that goes across the board for the nation.  I will use the requirements on the car seat for my expectations and then use the state level laws as a guide.  This probably raised an eyebrow or two, but lets face it the car seat is more strict in my mind than some state's laws.  Take a look at Car Seat Laws and you will see how it varies state to state.  It is the age range that gets me confused.

In all reality I really wasn't aware that each state varied.  I also did not realize that my daughter probably could move to a booster seat at her current age, however I just assumed she wouldn't because she still is far away from meeting that height and weight requirement on her current five point harness car seat.  Actually I would love for her to get into a booster because buckling her in would be so much easier, but it is not as safe as the seat she has now.  It wasn't until I recently saw new car seat rules  they wanted to update in Michigan that are in compliance with pediatrician recommendations.   The rules they want are as follows:

(A) IF THE CHILD WEIGHS NOT MORE THAN 30 POUNDS OR IS LESS

THAN 2 YEARS OF AGE, IN A REAR-FACING CHILD SEAT.

     (B) IF THE CHILD WEIGHS NOT LESS THAN 30 POUNDS BUT LESS THAN

50 POUNDS, OR IS 2 YEARS OF AGE OR OLDER BUT LESS THAN 5 YEARS OF

AGE, IN A FORWARD-FACING CHILD SEAT.

     (C) IF THE CHILD IS NOT MORE THAN 57 INCHES TALL AND WEIGHS 50

POUNDS OR MORE, OR IS 5 YEARS OF AGE OR OLDER BUT LESS THAN 10

YEARS OF AGE, IN A BOOSTER SEAT.

Nebraska's car seat laws are as follows:

• In the State of Nebraska all children under the age of six (6) must be secured in a federally approved child safety seat.
• Children six (6) up to eighteen (18) years of age must be restrained in a safety belt or child safety seat.
• Children up to eighteen (18) years of age are prohibited from riding in cargo areas.
• Childcare providers in the State of Nebraska must transport all children in an appropriate safety seat or safety belt.

Confusing huh?  This is the safety of our children and look how vague and loosey goosey the car seat laws are.  Now I am not pointing fingers and say one state is better than the other, what my point is, is that we all should be on the same page as to what is safe for our kids.  There was a statement in the new car seat laws for Michigan that stated that a rear facing seat is safer than a forward five point harness, the five point harness was safer than the booster, and the booster was safer than just a seatbelt.  This is obvious, but shouldn't we put a law in place that is consistent across the board?

Now I know in all reality not every one would follow the new laws, and it is their choice, however I am a person who loves things to be easy and cut and dry.  I want the law to be specific and to the point, but then again I wish a lot of things were easy.

For now I will keep my littles in their five point harness car seats and will keep them that way until they go to elementary school.  Even then I am hesitant to make that change, but I guess I will cross that bridge next August.

Oil Pulling Pt. 2

I have written a post on oil pulling before, but I just recently began pulling again.  Let me give you a tip, after not pulling for about six months starting again is hard.

Unfortunately every time I oil pull I gag really bad.  Now it could be a couple of reasons, one being that it just takes awhile to get back into it.  The second reason could be because this summer the coconut oil turned liquid.  The entire jar did not liquefy, but I know that the top quarter did turn to liquid. Once it turns back to the solid form it turns more white and appears to be more crystallized.  I am not sure of the entire break down process, but this layer of re solidified part of the jar is tough to pull.  It is gritty and I really think this is what is making me gag.

Okay so I know what you are probably thinking, if I am gagging, why am I continuing to put myself through this trauma.  I will tell you why!  It really cuts back on my plaque build up on my teeth, and it is somehow helping with my sinuses.  This past month I have been suffering from intense sinus infections and I literally can smell the infection.  I know gross right!?  However, since oil pulling it has cut back on that build up.

I have read many benefits to oil pulling with coconut oil and I am going to share my take on how it has worked for me in those categories.  According to WorldLifeStyle they focus on twelve benefits to oil pulling with coconut oil.  They are as follows:

1.  Prevents Bad Breath - I don't smell anything and haven't had any complaints
2.  Healthier Gums - I think this may be related to the less plaque on my teeth?
3.  Regulated Menstrual Cycles - Not sure on this one
4.  Clearer Mind - Definitely not...my mind is racing constantly with craziness
5.  Brighter, Whiter Teeth - Have seen this when I pulled every day
6.  Decreased Headaches - No.
7.  Clearer Sinuses - Yes.  Not completely fixed, but definitely pain is alleviated.
8.  Clearer Skin - Ummm...remember last weeks post?  This is not a benefit for me:(
9.  Alleviated Allergies - Christmas tree is still making me itch.
10.  Increased Energy - Not yet.
11.  Sleep Better - Not with just oil pulling.
12.  Improved Lymphatic System - This is a tough one to monitor, so I would say no.

I may not be getting all twelve benefits, but I am getting a few, and something as simple as swishing with coconut oil in my mouth while I shower is helping me...why not, even if I do gag!  Give it a try, get a jar of coconut oil, a spoon, and give it a try for a month.  I bet you will at least gain a few benefits mentioned above.

Happy Pulling!

This is what I have been using, however I am not an coconut oil connoisseur so I am not sure it matters on the brand.

Date Night

I am so excited to share that Tyler and I had our first date night since Ayden was born last Saturday.  Yes my friends it has been two and a half years since we actually did something that was just us the two of us.

It was fantastic to have dinner and actually have a conversation that did not involve the words, "Get up off the floor" or "Stop licking that!"  Ahh...the joys of having small children.  :)

I knew we would get to this stage in our lives at some point, but it was literally a blessing when a high schooler at church sought me out to verify with me that she babysits.  My kids love her to begin with and she is seeking us out to watch my kids even after she sees their shenanigans, I knew I had to scoop this gal up!

The old Lindsay would have made a list and given the poor gal a huge list of my expectations, but seriously she got to the house and I showed her where stuff was and we literally bolted out the door.  In fact Audrey even shooed us out the door too, so I felt very confident that things would be just fine. Even my third leg, aka Ayden, did not even bat an eye with us leaving.  Honestly, a total blessing.

Tyler and I just went to dinner, but it was amazing how "just going to dinner" made me feel like an adult.  I actually am starting to wonder why we waited this long.  However I know why, it just wasn't the right season in our life for that.

What I do know though is after battling a long, busy week, it was exactly what Tyler and I needed.  I really have been thinking about how important it was that we started doing date nights because in all reality the kids won't need us to this extreme forever and we will have to get back into a routine of remembering what it is to be normal adults.  Also, we will be growing old together and we really need to continue to do things that keep us close and liking one another, otherwise it is going to suck  once the kids are older!  (Sorry Tyler, just had to state the obvious.)

Regardless of everything I think that everyone with children and about to have kiddos need to remember that taking time for your significant other is an important part of your relationship.  I know from experience that it is so easy to just get into the routine of taking care of the kids and going through the motions, however it doesn't have to always be this way.  Taking a little time for mom and dad is okay too.

I encourage you to find that sitter, take time to be with your significant other, and be adults because it's nice to remember what it is like, even if it is for a little while.

Living with Fears, Attempting to Be a Brave Mom

Fear is something we never want to admit to, but we all have it!  Whether it is that fear of spiders or the dark, we all have that one thing that makes us quiver at the thought.  I had fears before kids, but after having children the fears changed and were amplified.  The fear of doing everything wrong or messing up the perfect life of a child got real once I became a mom.

I recently finished reading Brave Mom by Sherry Surratt, and I truly wish this book was around when I began my journey as a mother.  Through the reading of this book, I was reassured that I am not the only one out there going through similar situations or having certain fears about being a mom.  While reading this book I agreed with what I was reading, however it took me a few days to process what one fear I had that I simply wasn't aware of that had always been lingering and had me very worried. 

When having a fear that involves our children, it truly adds to the level of anxiety for moms.  We always fear that we as moms may not be enough, even though deep down we know that God ensured our children were ours so that we were the perfect moms for our children.  That doesn't mean we are perfect moms, but we are the perfect mommies for our children.  However, even though we know this, the fear of not being enough or having something bad happen to our kids can sometimes overtake our rationale thoughts. 

My biggest mom fear is that I am afraid my child won't fit in socially or be picked on.

Two and a half years ago I was blessed with a baby boy, and I could not have been happier when my little man made his quick entrance into this world.  Yet, when he was born I was not prepared for what I was going to learn about Ayden.  He was born with a large Port Wine Stain (PWS) on his right side of his face, and although many times this birthmark is mainly cosmetic, it can come with great risks.  In fact it wasn't until we got into the pediatrician after we left the hospital I was not made aware of what was even on my son's face.  Once we met with doctors and dermatologists, we were given the facts and reassured that his PWS was indeed cosmetic, but we had another tough decision to make.  That decision being to treat his PWS with laser treatment or leave is birthmark alone.  I struggled a lot with this because this was the way God made Ayden and I knew his birthmark was not going to define him.  However, we live in a society that does not embrace differences and something as large as his birthmark on his face had already raised eyebrows in his first couple months of life. 

Our decision was to treat his PWS, and we still continue to do so and it has improved his birthmark immensely.  However as he gets ready for preschool next year, my fears have begun to take over again.  When kids and adults ask about his birthmark I am there to educate everyone.  I am there to shield him from the interrogating question of "What is wrong with your face?"  I am there to distract him from the looks or quiet whispers that there is something wrong with him.  But my big fear is I won't be there with him when he begins his journey in school.

I tear up just thinking that he may struggle, be picked on, or even feel ashamed of his difference.  My heart breaks that he may be bullied or not make friends because he is different.  Accepting the fact that I will not be with him to protect him is tough, however deep down inside I know he will be okay.  Yet, with fear comes the irrational thoughts and I just can't help but worry.

Ayden is a high energy little boy, who's eyes sparkle when he smiles.  He has such a great personality and truly wouldn't mind being the center of attention all the time through his comic relief.  He manages to be noticed by everyone, and he has not yet met an adult that he can't use his charismatic smile on to charm them into getting what he wants.  Seriously this kid is just perfect, but I am afraid people won't see this because they cannot look past his birthmark. 

In Surratt's book she states that we need to focus on what we can control when it comes to our fears, and this is where my work begins.  It is my job to protect Ayden, but I cannot be with him all the time.  My job as a mom is to give him the tools to learn how to cope with that challenging question of what is on his face.  I need to work on allowing his personality to shine and how we all are different and that being different is okay.  We do this a lot in our house already, however I think when I am asked the question of what is on Ayden's face I need to approach this differently.  I need to be more accepting of the questions and really push how he is unique and special, rather than just giving people the medical explanation, etc. 

It is funny that I am worried about Ayden being picked on at school when it is the young kids that are the most open and honest about his birthmark.  I have honestly had some of the greatest conversations with young children about Ayden's birthmark, but I am afraid of these same children that will eventually hit that stage when different is not okay. 

As parents we never want our children to struggle or feel pain, but at the same time this is when life long lessons are learned.  All I can do at this point is to continue to educate those around me, embrace Ayden's difference, talk about differences and how they need to be viewed as a special gift, and teach him how to explain to other's his birthmark and that it does not define him. 

Now that I have my plan to overcome my one of many mom fears, I need to be that brave mom God intended me to be.