Living through Art

You were born to make art.  Because you were also made to live art.  ~ Emily Freeman

I have begun reading a book by Emily Freeman, A Million Little Ways, and all I can say is it is resonating with me.  Now I have only made it through the first chapter because I have a book study to get through for our MOPS group by Sunday and I love my crazy thrillers that I have to get in as well. But the two sentences I shared with you above are so true.

There are days I feel like I just am not good enough at anything.  Seriously how do these people make raising humans so easy?  How do people get their to do lists completed?  How does one get their little boy to not use potty words all the time?  I worry that I just can't do it right.  But at the same time, I have to be doing something right if everyone is still alive right?  I consider that a daily win, and it's an added bonus if my kids are dressed and have brushed their teeth.

It is after reading this first chapter, I have realized that not everyone is perfect in all areas.  Okay lets be real here, NO ONE is PERFECT.  We are all good at one thing, but identifying what that one thing is, is sometimes hard.  See about six years ago, I would have said I was good at teaching.  It was my talent that I shared with society.  But now that I am no longer teaching, I have wondered well what else am I good at?  Sure some would say well you are good at being a mom, and I could agree to a certain degree, I mean they are still breathing right?  Yet that isn't what I feel is my talent.  Being a mom isn't my talent, but rather it is my job that I am grateful for.

Freeman in the book discusses how she was moved by a musician and how the talent of this woman was inspirational.  I want that, I want to be inspirational.  Maybe this sounds vain, as I go back and read what I wrote, but believe me I want more than the vanity of the talent.  See what I truly want is I want to make and live art.  I want to be able to do something I love, share that talent, and live and embrace others art as well.

For example, I cringe every day when I have to clean up scraps of paper and scrub tables when my children's art and projects have littered the kitchen.  I need to stop getting frustrated at the concept of cleaning a mess, but rather embracing and living in the moment of what my babies are making.  Mind you this will be a work in progress because those OCD issues kick in and I have to fight the urge to get frustrated, but I know they are trying to find their art or God given talent and share it with the rest of the world.

So here I type, vulnerable, searching for my God given gift, excited to one day share it with you all, but until then I will live through all of your art and be grateful I have each and everyone of you in my life!

I am back...for a day anyway:)

Wow!  It has been forever since I have sat down and done a little writing, but today it just had to be done.  Now I have no driving force to be blogging today, as I am suffering from an incredible, intense sinus infection that is showing no mercy, but I just miss it.  This is my outlet and lets face it, I haven't been writing so you probably can only imagine the craziness that has been going on in my brain.

Now mind you I do have a few other hobbies, like reading and working out, but I miss this.  So here I am ranting about not feeling well, and amazingly I am feeling a little bit better.  Well except for the fact that my son is attempting to read at the loudest decibel possible about elephants.  Here is my thought on that, and it will probably make me look like a bad human being, but I could give a rat's behind about elephants because I have read the book eighty million times.  But this is my life.

I have learned over the past few months about myself is that this is my world.  The controlled chaos, okay maybe not so controlled, is just what we do right now.  I spend all day entertaining, feeding, and chauffeuring my little humans around.  There are days I do feel that I just cannot do this much longer.  Like seriously, how much can one human take, right?  But then again I have learned that I need to be looking for the silver lining in every event that occurs in house, good or bad, so that I can appreciate even the little, but crazy things.  Believe me this is a work in progress because currently I am sick and I do not feel like entertaining Ayden all day long, but that is my job to help nurture his creativity and support him in everything he does.

Ugh....this is a lot harder than it sounds, but you know what, I need to remember that I am so lucky to be Ayden and Audrey's mom.  Sure some days I feel like I have lost my identity and I am just their personal butler, but then I am humbled quickly when I think of those who long to have these opportunities.  That is when I realize that I was chosen to be these little humans momma for a reason.  They have so much to teach me, as I do for them.  I just pray every night that I don't screw it up when we've had a bad day, but just as a back up plan I have verified that Tricare does cover therapy, so I have covered my bases.  :)

Have a fabulous day friends!