The Home Depot Drama

It is about time I share a great story of taking my kids out and about.  I tell you this story as I am sure there are some of you out there who have had similar experiences and I am here just to validate that you are not alone.

A week ago Tyler and I decided to go to Home Depot with the kids to finalize some things for our kitchen that we are working on to complete our cottage in Michigan.  I knew that this trip may be a little boring for the kiddos, but I figured we could do the things we needed to do as quick as possible. Seriously, what was I thinking?  It all began when we looked at flooring because we were there and I thought we could get the kids involved.  By involved I thought I would give them a couple free samples and think it would keep them happy.  However what happened was they got out of the cart and began to run up and down the aisle, and the workers all laughed as they were talking to us.  Really?  I could have not used that kind of encouragement for them.  

We then moved onto the countertops because I thought I needed to change the color.  Somehow the kids decided to check out appliances and they were running from Tyler.  I literally had to throw the kids in the back of the cart so they were contained.  It was an act of God to keep me from screaming like a crazy lady to ask them what was their issue, but then I got the fabulous FaceTime call from a cousin that literally saved the day.  I am not even sure what they talked about, but she kept them happy and engaged, and we were able to finish up what we needed to do.  We finished up our fun filled trip by picking out paint samples for the rest of the cottage and literally the kids had at least 20 paint samples that they were just randomly pulling out, but it kept them happy and I just rolled with it even though I despise bringing home extra stuff that will more than likely be thrown around the house.  

Tyler and I left the store, drained and exhausted, but our trip was successful.  And the kids, well, they had fun and still ask to go to Home Depot every other day when we are out and about or drive by the store.  I think the next time we decide to do a trip like that, Tyler and I better not take the kids or we better have FaceTime calls planned because it appears that is our only way to get things done at Home Depot.  

Overall we survived, but I forget how differently things are when we have kids.  I know our lives have changed for the better, but when we do something simple like go to the store I need to remember it will never be simple.  With a two and four year old, nothing is simple and a sure thing.  Kids are full of energy and spontaneity and they will unleashed this in a moments notice when we don't want that to happen.  

I am going to remember that they are just kids and they are having fun, however I don't always have to agree with their craziness!  

I work out because I like to eat!

Recently I got back into the routine of working out every morning, and it is amazing what a difference it does to my mood and how better I sleep.  Now mind you my working out is nothing compared to what a lot of people do.  My work out consists of 30 minutes to an hour of walking/running on the treadmill while watching trash tv.  It may not be a lot, but it honestly has helped me lose weight and improve my health.  Like seriously helped in my health because after ten years, I no longer need to take medication for high blood pressure, which is pretty surprising because my high blood pressure is hereditary.  However with working out and making healthy food choices it totally happened.

Okay enough of my bragging moment, lets get to the real reason why I have to work out.  I love food.  I love to eat, and most the time I don't want to make the good choices.  I would totally eat the cheese and chips over the carrots and hummus.  In fact I may not have to work out if I had someone follow me around slapping all the crap out of my hands.  Heck, I bet you I would have kept the weight I lost earlier this year off, if I had a personal hand slapper.  Although that is not the case and the lifestyle changes and good choices just need to become more of a habit than anything.  Lets face it, there are days that I just can't be satisfied with healthy stuff, sometimes I need to just grab a handful of milk chocolate chips (okay maybe 3 handfuls) and just get the craving over with.  I am sure there are alternatives like the dark chocolate or even not having that stuff available in the house so I don't have those temptations, but it is what it is.

I just recently read a book by Shauna Niequist, Bread and Wine, and it really put a different perspective on food for me.  For instance, how many times do we go over to someone's house and not eat because we are afraid of what one might think if we take too much or the fact that we know that it may be our second treat for the day? I know when I normally go over to someone's house I always turn down food.  Shame on me because here they spent time to prepare food and I am too afraid of image...really?  What it breaks down to is that there is a time to feast and a time to fast.  When we are with friends and family we really should take advantage of things in front of us, now that doesn't mean gorge yourself, but at least enjoy what is there.  If you know you are going somewhere, just cut back on what your eating earlier that day or later on that day so it balances things out.  What a concept right?  Sounds a little crazy that I had to read that in a book to understand.  The book is actually a worthwhile read as it shares yummy recipes as well, and has a fabulous story line to go along with gathering around the table.

Now that I have totally gotten off topic, I think what my point here is that everything needs to be done in moderation, whether eating or working out.  We need to just find that happy medium, which is sometimes hard to do.  I have to work out not because I am working on that perfect image, but because I need to do it to give me that mommy alone time, and I need to keep that blood pressure down.  Oh, and I also need to fit into those jeans I bought earlier this year:).  I still need to work on making healthier choices, but as a family we are working on that.  Even Audrey has begun to ask for healthier choices, which means we are obviously making it a priority if it is trickling down to here.  When it is all said and done, we all need to make the choices we need for ourselves and our families.

Patience

Well I have a confession for you all today and that is I lack in the patience department.  Some days are better than others, but I have noticed lately that my patience is getting thinner and thinner as the weeks go on.  Every day I have to remind myself that it is a new day and I literally pray for patience because I have none the moment I wake up because I feel that I am just tapped out.  It sounds terrible, but it is the truth.

I admire those parents who work with their children and stay calm even when their kiddos may be driving them bonkers.  It takes so much composure and strength to not lose your ever loving mind in public and I truly admire you.  In fact here is your shout out that you are amazing!  Whenever I see a kiddo acting out in public I am so not staring at the kids because lets face it I have two of my own doing the same thing, what I find myself staring at is how the parent is reacting.  I am hoping that maybe I could get a glimpse of how I could become that calm person dealing with the chaos.  And sometimes, I know this is bad, but it sure is nice to see someone react like me as well because then I don't feel alone.

The bottom line here is that raising children is a challenge.  What worked one day, may not work the next for behavior.  They are changing constantly and learning new ways to spread their wings and stretch their parents' patience.  Kids will throw tantrums at the most inappropriate times and say the most embarrassing things.  It is their job because they are just learning.  Look at that, I just justified that my children are not really crazy monsters trying to drive me insane, but rather are just learning to push my buttons and find their boundaries in our little world.

Here is the challenge I give you now, when you see that parent struggling with a child, instead of watching in disgust or looking annoyed, realize she/he is doing the best job they can.  Instead of those looks or snickers, pass on a word of encouragement because that is really what that mom/dad/grandparent/aunt/uncle needs at that very moment.  Our society needs to work a little bit harder on building each other up, rather than tearing each other down.  So remember this when you see that tantrum occurring and that adult that looks like they have just had enough,  something as simple as, "You are a great mom, dad, person" could seriously help them through this and make their day.  I know I have had someone say this to me when I have been in the midst of the chaos and it seriously helped me and brightened my day because really this one tantrum does not define me or my children.

Insufficient

I don't know what it is lately, but I sure have been feeling insufficient.  Like I am not a good enough mom, wife, sister, daughter, friend, etc.  I am not sure if it is something in the air or something that may be bothering me subconsciously and I haven't been able to put my finger on it, but something just isn't right.

I have been trying to self reflect and give myself some time outs to just get it together for the kids, but I just cannot seem to figure this one out.  I am constantly anxious and overwhelmed, maybe it is time for some more "be still" time for all of us, but whatever it is I need to find the answer soon before this momma goes crazy.

It is that time of the year when things start to get super busy, and I feel that each year around this time it just becomes more and more chaotic.  My kids are so excited about Christmas already, and Thanksgiving has not even passed.  I am trying to get ahead of the game and get all the shopping done sooner than later, but every time I think I have time to do this it seems we have something else to go to for the kids.  I love that we are busy with activities because it gets us out of the house, but just the other day I told Tyler that I just needed a day that involved my sweatshirt, yoga pants, and the couch.  That did not happen at all this past weekend, and I don't see it happened at all next week either.

I think I just have to make a day where we do nothing.  My plan is next Saturday to do this, but we shall see because I am sure there will be something that needs to be done or picked up.  Maybe I can at least get an afternoon of nothing and the kids can just enjoy their toys and each other.

It is crazy that I literally have to write down that I need a day to have us be home.  I guess it is a reminder to myself so that I can physically read this so I will possibly follow through?  What it breaks down is this, I think I feel insufficient because I am constantly being pulled in fifty directions, like every other person in this world, and I just feel I cannot complete something adequately.  I am trying to do all these things and they are getting done but at the bare minimal or something just gets pushed aside because there is just not enough time.  Right now I look around my house and it would have to be the sweeping and mopping that was neglected this week, but honestly it isn't like my floor is covered in filth it just has the remnants of the week displayed on them.  Like the red piece of play dough that is pushed in the corner or the random dry bean from the sensory table that the cat decided to bat around.  Maybe I should be looking at these messes as memories and that I should realize that the kids had fun this week, but lets face it, that is a challenge.

From today on I am going to try and look forward instead of in the past to getting things done.  Everything will get completed, maybe not in the timely manner I would like, but it will get done.  Plus it is not as if anyone is coming to my house to inspect to see if I have accomplished the cleaning of the house and children, the meals, and the activities the kids have completed.  I need to stop living life like I am under surveillance of others, and I bet this insufficient feeling may start to dissipate.

Instant Gratification

The other day I about lost my ever loving mind when Audrey and Ayden wanted everything they requested to be completed immediately.  I understand they are little and they have a hard time being patient, however the word patience is lacking in our household.  Everything needs to be done now!  There is no waiting or the whining and complaining begins.  That is when the realization hits me that we created the kids to become this way.  I know it wasn't intentional, but the instant gratification is a learned behavior.

Lets think about this.  We live in a world where we always are seeking out an end result.  Even something simple as a text message or email, we expect that response as soon as the person reads that text or email.  But why is this?  Why is it drilled in our minds that we need to respond quickly with everything?  I truly believe that this has a lot to do with the fast pace lives we all live.  We have so many hours in a day to complete tasks A, B, and C and we need to get as much done as possible.  We expect those we are working with to respond quickly so that we can continue with our day to complete our tasks.  Yet, newsflash, the world does not revolve around everyone who wants that quick response.

I am guilty of doing things like this.  I will send a text and then constantly glance at my phone for a response.  Or even hope that they haven't taken off the notification of when they read their message. Yeah, that was a great feature Apple, to make folks freak out why people have read their message, but not respond.  Although I shouldn't be blaming anyone but myself on this because it is my fault for even becoming so self absorbed in this. Honestly people are busy and they may see the message, but they are just busy doing other things and those things need more attention than that message and that is okay.

The interesting thing here is that I get annoyed when my kids want things to be immediate, but I am exactly the same way with other things.  Therefore, instead of getting frustrated with my children, I probably should take the time to explain to them why we should take the time to wait for things.  Maybe it is cliche, but teaching them that good things happen to those who wait could be a great teaching tool at this point.  However if I am going to model things for my kids on being patient and not needing the instant gratification, then I better practice what I preach.

Liebster Award

Liebster Award

I am truly humbled to have been nominated by Jenny at http://motheringwithasideofwhine.wordpress.com for this blogger-to-blogger award designed to encourage and direct deserved attention to smaller blogs. “Liebster” is German for “beloved, liked very much” and a bunch of other similarly wonderful words. You could even say “lovely.” Thank you, Jenny, for extending this opportunity, and I’m about to do the same for several other bloggers. I am still new to how to share links on this site so give some grace please if I do this wrong.

The rules are simple:

1. Post the award on your blog. 
2. Give a shout out and link-back to the nominating blogger. 
3. List 5 random facts about yourself.
4. Answer the 5 questions the nominating blogger gives you.
5. Nominate 5 other bloggers who deserve some blog love and have less than 200 followers. Then ask them to answer 5 questions. Participation is optional.

Five random facts about me:

1. I am obsessed with my DVR and catching up on tv. :-)
2. I enjoy Mexican food and could eat it for every dinner meal.
3. I despise snoring.
4. I hate toys that make noise.
5. I sweat from only one armpit.  Yes I just told you that!

Here are the questions given to me:

1. If you could have any super power what would it be?

I would have to go with being invisible.  I love seeing people being real and sometimes that doesn't happen when people think others are watching.

2. When you were a kid what did you want to be when you grow up?

I think I have always wanted to be a teacher, however there was a time when being a forensic lab technician was were it was at for me.

3. Why did you start blogging?

I began blogging to get these thoughts out of my head.  As a momma I sometimes talk to little ones too much and I crave adult time.  My blogging is me connecting to the adult world.

4. If you could live in any time period when would it be?

I think I would have to say I would have loved to live in the 1920 era.

5.What’s the bravest thing you’ve ever done?

I think the bravest thing I have ever done was leave my comfort zone and move to Alaska to pursue my dream of being a teacher.

The five people I nominate: (So I only nominated 2 because these gals deserve the recognition)

http://oneattachedmomma.blogspot.com

http://themitchellhullabaloo.wordpress.com

Your questions are:

1.  If you could visit any place in the world, where would it be?

2.  If money was no option what would your ideal job be?

3.  What is the bravest thing you have ever done?

4.  Why did you begin blogging?

5.  What is your favorite book? (and no it doesn't have to be just one)

Can’t wait to read their answers!

Happy Blogging!

Lindsay

Great Inventions

I apologize for those of you who find this post a little boring, but if I can help just one person with these products I found to help with the little challenging tasks then it was totally worth it!

There are two things that I grumble to do for my children and that is brushing their teeth and brushing their hair.  Now that we cut Ayden's hair short he isn't an issue with the hair brushing. :)  I would be lying if I said I found the end all be all products for these two things that I cringe at completing, however I have found a way to make them a little less painful.

My first thing that has helped us with brushing teeth is a timer app I have for the phone that was free. It is called Brusheez and it is fabulous, except the catchy tune gets stuck in your head and your kids sing it all the time.  I can only solve one problem at a time here...not a miracle worker:)  The app is basically a timer for brushing teeth, but it allows the kids to pick their monster character (only 2 to pick from that are free), and you can also adjust the time on the timer.  It is not the end all be all, but it is free and it gets the kids motivated to brush and they don't complain how long I brush their teeth.

The other item I stumbled upon after a recommendation from a mom in our MOPS group was the Wet Brush.  Brushing Audrey's hair is always a challenge.  She whines and yells when she has knots in her hair, which is pretty much any time she wears her hair down or gets out of the bath.  Just a month ago I was brushing her hair and I started to get flash backs from when my mom used to brush my hair and the tears...oh the tears.  If I remember correctly my mom would go through so much yelling and detangler spray to just get my hair presentable after baths.  It was as if history was about to repeat itself, and I wanted it to stop.  I picked up the brush at Target and have never regretted the $9 spent on it.  I am not sure the exact technology in the brush and the placement of the bristles, even if that is what makes it so good, but it gets those knots out quickly and the tears are minimal.  Audrey can even brush her hair effectively.

Sorry if I bored some of you with these shared items, but as I said before they have made my life a little easier and wanted to share.

A Moment to Reflect

Ugh is all I have to say.

I was messing around on my blog Facebook Page to see people I could invite when I was getting ready to invite a bunch of folks, I came across my grandmother's name.  Big sigh because she passed away at the end of July.  It is crazy that Facebook thought that I needed to invite her, but even more is the realize her page is still out there and I can still visit it.  Lets think about this, when we pass what becomes of our social media or email accounts?  They just are there.  Most of us store our passwords in our brains, unless your my husband and he has a legal size page of all his passwords, and it's not like we can log in and delete the account.

See I am kind of a sentimental person, so when I saw this pop up I had to take this as a sign that she wants me to remember her.  So this is what I am going to do, share a story about my Grandma Jones. Almost a crazy Throw Back Thursday approach in a blog post form.

Oh Grandma Jones was quite the lady.  She was the only older gal I knew who tried to keep up with technology.  It kept her on her toes even though she forgot her password every once and awhile.  She always loved to have the newest version of things so that she could keep up with the Jones'.  (See what I did right there?  I'm hilarious.)  I would get emails from my grandmother up until about a year ago, when I think she finally got tired of me not returning emails.  However in my defense I never knew if it was a virus or not because I was hacked after opening a couple of her emails...just saying' grandma!  It still amazes me on how she kept up on technology because I look at my other grandparents and that definitely was not their forte.

One thing grandma tried to do, but did not always come out on top was with her cooking.  I think I was more familiar with a smoke detector than a child should be.  I remember this one day in particular she was getting ready to put something frozen in the oven and she preheated the oven.  Okay no food had began to cook, but ten minutes later the smoke detector was going off.  Black smoke rolled out of the oven and her brownies that she had made for us grandkids were black.  She had hid the brownies from my diabetic grandfather and well you can figure out what happened.  Needless to say dinner got exciting before it even began cooking!

I have many stories about all my grandparents, but I sometimes am afraid I will forget these stories.  I only have one grandfather that is still alive today, and I have learned to embrace those moments that I still can be with him and remember all the good times with my other grandparents.  I guess this is my motivation to write all this stuff down before I get to old to remember right?  Although I am sure if they read it they would have their version to tell as well.

With that being said, love a little deeper and appreciate the time you have with friends and family because you never know when your last moments will be.

The World's Okayest Mom

A couple weeks ago I received a package in the mail from a great friend.  I was super excited about mail because I normally never get anything except for bills and credit card applications, but I was also excited because I always get mail from this friend when I truly need it.  It's like she just knows when my life needs a little pick me up.  :)

I opened up the box and found the best coffee mug ever!  It was simple, white, and had the best saying on it ever:  World's Okayest Mom.  Now this was not a gift to hurt my feelings, it was a gift of reassurance, one we both appreciated.  In fact we send random texts to each other where we sometimes just don't feel like we are being very good moms, but at least we are doing our best right?!?  The note that was included was just perfect because it explained how it just spoke to her at that time in her life and she knew I could relate.  Could I ever!

At this point in my life I was tired of trying to keep up with the Jones'.  (This is kind of a funny term since my mother's maiden name is Jones!)  I needed to stop comparing myself to everyone and just be me.  I was meant to be Audrey and Ayden's momma and I am everything they need in their life.  I may be rough around the edges and not do everything to perfection, but I do an okay job.  There you have it...an okay job.

Whatever happened to okay being fine?  I am very competitive and I strive for being the best I can be, but if that best is only okay in society's eyes...then so be it.  I love being okay and I will continue to be okay for my kids because it works for us.

So today I ask you to reflect and be the best mom, wife, employee, boss, or human you can be, and guess what?  It is okay if that best is okay!  Be the World's Okayest (blank), and embrace that okayest to its fullest potential.

Be Still

Recently the words "Be Still" have come across my eyes and ears multiple times the past week.  Now I know the importance of being still and taking in my world around and being grateful for all I have been given, however here is that 20 million dollar question, how in the world am I suppose to be still with small children?  I try being still and reflecting in the five minutes before my crazy world begins or even after the kids are in bed, but I find that is just not enough sometimes.  I was beginning to realize that was the only "be still" moments I was going to be given, so I was trying to put a positive spin on it and show my appreciation.

It wasn't until Thursday night of last week, that I had canceled the play date at the museum before preschool because I was going to help out in Audrey's classroom and I needed Ayden to be on his best behavior because he was going to tag along.  Which meant I was going to have a slow morning of getting everyone presentable for the day, which included baths for both kids.  I thought I was being smart on trying to take control of the chaos that could occur.  However I then made sure I had to drive immediately after preschool to pick up the groceries from the commissary, but it was going to be just fine.

See this is where I need to remember that every time I have things all worked out to the last final detail, things are not going to go as I have planned.  I had asked for help to "be still" and what did I do, everything but be still and guess what?  My plans were changed.  I woke up to Ayden yelling my name and I brought him down for breakfast.  I got him his breakfast and life was good, until Audrey was yelling at me from at the top of the stairs that it was my fault that her legs were broken because I let her sleep in.  Really?  What insanity was going on upstairs?  But the moment I made it up the stairs to help her I knew something was off.  I assumed one of her legs fell asleep, but she did feel a little warm.  After I got her downstairs that is when chaos began.  When she began to complain that she was so cold, I realized she was sick, and that is when the puking began...really?  She does pretty good at trying to make it to the bathroom, but there is always some sort of mess and of course she freaks out about that after she gets done.  So you can picture how the remainder of the day went.  It wasn't until Audrey was napping on the couch and Ayden crawled up into my lap and literally fell asleep instantly.  I finally got my "be still" time and you know what I did, absolutely nothing.  I laid on the couch, reflected on how grateful I was, and I was still with my children and loved every minute of it!

Now that I have had my "be still" time, I know now that those little moments are just as good as those  that I find at any other time of the day.  The thing is though is maybe I can "be still" with my kids.  There needs to be more sitting together on the couch with simple talking and reading, and not worry about running to our next destination.  There it is, I feel my family and I need to just be and be still.  This will not be all the time because well I have a two year old and four year old, but we definitely will be doing this more often in the Evans' household.

I am sure if you have children and you reflect upon your past couple of days, I am sure the word "no" was used more than once.  Honestly I feel I tell my kids "no" more than anything else on those trying days and it literally is second nature to me.  I mean here are just a few "no's" I used today:

"No Ayden, we do not bite people even if you are pretending to be a dinosaur."
"No Audrey you cannot eat another piece of candy."
"Ayden, I said no twice already, why would the third time be different?"
"I need you to listen to this word Audrey, 'No' you may not get out more paper from the writing center."
"There will be no dress up clothes out until this hot mess of a room is cleaned up!"

And the list could go on, but lets get real here.  How easy is it for you to say the word "no" to another adult?  Why is it that we are so quick to use the word "no" with our impressionable little ones, but we can't do it so easily with the adults in our life?

I recently had a discussion with a friend about if they made the right decision of saying "no" in a particular situation.  Honestly should we even be beating ourselves up over situations like this.  We are second guessing ourselves in the choices we make even when we know it is the best thing for us and our family.  I have this very same problem with saying "no" to adults as well, I want to keep everyone happy and help, but in return it is myself that is beginning to be stretched thin and my family suffers because I just have no more to give.

This is insane as I write this and reflect upon it more, we are willing to sacrifice our sanity and family to just please another person?  I mean it is one thing to give and help when you can, but why say "no" when we know it will be the straw that breaks the camel's back?  We have become a society that has made the word "no" a challenge to say.  This just seems ludicrous.  We need to be brave and say the word "no" when we know it is best and not look back.  We need to know and understand that we made the choice we did, not to be mean but because there wasn't anymore to give.  This is not selfish, but rather healthy my friends.  How is this so?  Well if you are giving to everyone how are you helping yourself overall?  Did doing that last errand for someone make you feel better or did it zap the last bit of energy you had and in return caused you to lose your temper with someone you loved?  See where I am going here.  Take care of you so that you can take care of others.

There you have it, now you have a challenge on your hand...say "no" when you need to.  It's going to be okay to do so and no one is going to judge you.  Don't feel bad about it, but embrace the fact that you took the step to say "no" and that you now can give a little more to yourself.

My Smart Phone

On Wednesday, I attended my monthly MOPS meeting and we had a fantastic speaker who spoke to each component of "Be You Bravely".  Now I could write a very long blog on my take of the speaker, however I wanted to speak to something she spoke of in particular, technology.  Technology is everywhere and we rely on it so much!  Everything we need is at the swipe of a finger on our smart phones and after listening to this wonderful lady and remembering some other things I heard at MomCon in October, it finally hit me...I use my phone way too much!  I am actually embarrassed to tell you all how much I look at my phone and better yet how many times I told the kids to just wait until I am finished reading something on the phone.  Really Lindsay?

Yesterday I took some time to see how much I used my phone and I logged my time I used the phone, and honestly I probably use it more when I am not keeping tabs on myself.  I  checked my email, Facebook, and text messages all before I got up out of bed.  For some reason I felt that the outside world had solved the world problems while I slept and I had to see what I may have missed.  I found myself checking my phone after I made sure the kids had breakfast, and checked my phone before we left to go to a preschool activity.  After we get done with our activity I am checking my phone again, at this point it is to check my text messages, but since the phone was there and the kids were eating a snack I decided to check those notifications that just had to be read before we drove home!  We get home and I check my email.  We get ready for lunch and I am on my phone again grabbing that Pinterest recipe for dinner.  I even take my phone downstairs to the treadmill so I can gauge my workout steps, and add my food and water intake for the day to the MyFitnessPal app.  I just my phone after I play a game with my kids to make sure I didn't miss a text message because I have my phone on silent so I don't hear those annoying notification noises, but it doesn't matter if there is a noise I still am drawn to that ridiculous phone.  I take my daughter to dance class and because I am burned out, I let Ayden use my phone while I am trying to keep him content during the 30 minutes of dance.  We get home, I turn the phone on so the kids can brush their teeth to the timer on the phone and then I put the phone on my nightstand because I will have to check my phone before I go to bed.  Roughly I spent over two and half hours on my phone!

I complain constantly how there is not enough time in the day, but maybe if I put the darn phone down I could find further time to do the things that really mattered, or better yet just be still.  I know, what a concept right?  It took probably hearing phones are an issue from three speakers before I even made the connection that I have a problem.  I have come to the conclusion of this, I am on the phone too much.  So what am I going to do about it?  Lets be honest I need to delete that Facebook app and I need to put some restrictions on this ridiculous piece of technology.  And that is what I am going to do.  I am going to delete the Facebook app, and limit myself to checking Facebook on the computer to the morning and evening when the kids are in bed because honestly this should not be taking from my kids.  Now I am not sure how I am going to restrict my text messages as I feel the need to respond to those, however I am willing to take any suggestions if you have them.  I think I need to simply not have my phone be an accessory of every day life.  The fact that Ayden will see my phone on the counter and he brings it to me, makes me feel he thinks mommy needs her phone all the time.

This post really is to get you all thinking about how much you use your phone, not make you feel guilty, just bring things into perspective.  My change begins now, and I will keep you posted on how it's working out for me:)  As for you, make that change or as always, suggestions are welcome.

A Good Night's Sleep

As a mom I constantly feel the need for a good night's sleep.  By now my kiddos should be sleeping through the night, but for some reason it does not happen every night.  Some nights it is because Ayden lost his paci in the bed or there are alligators in Audrey's room.  Regardless of the reason, I tend to the need and then I can't go back to sleep.  This is where I get very annoyed.  I know I have to get back to bed in order to function during the day that will be soon arriving, but I cannot shut off my mind.

Here are just a few examples of the shenanigans that occur in our late night wake ups.  I do not regret tending to my children's needs, I just wish I could go back to sleep...doesn't seem like a crazy request right?

One night recently Ayden woke up  and simply started yelling, "Momma come in here."  So that is what I did, went into his room to find out what I could help him with and he kept saying Bee, which later translated to pee after I completely woke up.  So I proceeded to change not only his diaper, but his pajamas as they were wet as well and I showed him back to his bed.  At this point it was 4:30 and my mind began to race.  Not thinking of anything in particular, but it just wandered about ridiculous things.  Of course I could hear Ayden rummaging around in his room too.  He was collecting up all his stuffed animals, and then was going to attempt his slumber but his tossing and turning showed he wasn't ready to go to sleep right away.  In fact he tossed and turned for an hour, and my mind solved the world's problems.  Immediately after Ayden fell asleep, it was like an internal clock went off on Audrey and she stumbled into the bedroom at 6.  Hence the fact why I am tired, a lot.

Another instance is one that occurs frequently in our house.  It is the event where Audrey wakes up in the middle of the night and comes into our room.  She always tells me she is scared of something, however she is not scared enough to bring her blanket and stuffy to the room.  She normally camps out on the floor at this point, yet recently I just get out of bed, throw Audrey in my spot of the bed, and I walk over to the guest bedroom with my book because I know I will be up for awhile.  In the morning it is always interesting to see how Tyler feels about his new bed buddy because that girl is a windmill when she sleeps.

I have come to terms that if I wake up in the middle of the night I will more than likely stay up.  I get a lot of reading done, however I am always wondering if I should just get up and walk on the treadmill and catch up on the shows on the DVR.  Either way I am going to be continuously awoken for many more years, but maybe I can master the falling back to sleep strategy sooner than later.

Noise

I remember my mother singing on a daily basis when were growing up that "Silence is golden."  I agree and get what she meant by this now that I have children.  However I only feel silence is golden when my kids are sleeping or out of the house.  Because silence with them awake equals disaster!

Picture this....I have both kids in the car and we were on our way to take Audrey to Sunday School.  Ayden was given the special job of holding the thirteen paper towel rolls Audrey needed to take with her for a project.  I turned on the radio and the kids began to complain about the songs in the radio and we literally go through every station, they get to hear the tail end of a song and Ayden begins to scream because he wants to hear it again.  Sorry buddy, it's the radio not a CD.  After about two minutes of screaming and Audrey trying to add to my talk to Ayden they chaos dissipates, but not for long.

Ayden has now changed his focus from music to noise.  Not little noise, but loud, obnoxious noise.  He has the paper towel rolls and is pretending to be an elephant, and of course he is so great at sharing he gives his sister a couple of rolls and encourages her to scream like an elephant as well.   I know elephants don't scream, but if they did my kids have the noise nailed.  At this point my eye begins to twitch and I have two choices to either loose it like a crazy person or breathe.  I was going to take the first route and scream that horrible phrase "Shut up", but then the noise turned to tears and Audrey is trying to talk Ayden through a crisis.  Yes friends, Ayden got the paper towel roll stuck on one arm and he did not know what to do.  Audrey kept yelling pull it off Ayden and Ayden kept crying that he couldn't and I needed to help.  Sorry buddy, I am driving.  It was at this point I just laughed at our loud obnoxious event.  Ayden gets the roll off his arm, to then get it stuck one more time.   Who said kids learn after their mistakes?  The elephant screams pick right up where they left off and continue until we arrive at church.  At this point the noise is done, and so are the paper towel rolls and Audrey.  This is when I begin to think that it sure is quiet.  I then turn on the radio and Ayden begins his critiquing of the radio stations, and our noise chaos begins again.

Here is the thing, I can't handle a lot of quiet during the day.  I think I can because I am constantly asking my kids to use an indoor voice, but at the same time I find peace in their loudness. Without the noise I am either fearing my kids are into something or that things aren't okay. Therefore, bring on the noise, and more than likely I will be that lady with the obnoxiously loud children in the store, but that is okay because it is my one way of keeping tabs on them and gauging in on how they are doing as little people.  

Making Lists

My confession for the day is I am a list maker.

I make lists simply so I can cross things off and feel like I am accomplishing things during the day.  As if not allowing the house to burn down, keep the children alive, and make three meals a day is not enough daily accomplishments, I need to add more to my chaotic life.  Now sometimes those ridiculously great lists that aid in my crazy OCD helps keep me at peace with seeing what I have to do, but it also adds to the stress because I feel I need to do all the things on my list.

I also make lists because I cannot always remember everything that I need to do because there are sixty million things going on in our house.  However my lists are kinda driving me crazy.  Take for instance right now, I am stressed that there are three things left on my list that I know I will not complete all items for the day.  Or here is something even crazier, I wrote a list for today last night and wrote an item on the list that I knew I could do immediately before I went to bed just so I could feel like I accomplished something.

I am not sure why I think the list is going to make me look like I can keep it together because I seriously know the toilets need to be cleaned and that floor needs to be mopped, however for some reason I feel like super mom/wife when I cross off that object on the list and I have conquered the world, even though it may be the toilet cleaning.  However that is an accomplishment in itself.  I mean seriously, have you ever tried cleaning a toilet with the assistance of a two year old?

As an educated person stepping back and looking at this entire thought process with an open mind it just seems insane, yet I still continue to do it daily.  I make lists and then get excited when my list gets too messy and I have to make another list.  Seriously, there is something not right with me.  I am not sure if I make these lists to try and help my crazy life or if it is just a way for me to feel like I have some control?  Either way, I love my lists and I am not sure I can let them go...ever.

With all that being said and you are all questioning my sanity, bring on the sharpies because that is what I love to write my lists with and the seventy million notebooks I have accumulated over the years to write those lists on.  I will continue to make myself crazy with my lists, but maybe I will try to get myself excited that I will make a new list of all the things that did not get done  for the day to add to the next day's list!

Potty Training

Here are a few numbers for you to ponder as I begin to open up on my feelings on potty training, 8-2-1.

I never understood how hard potty training was until I attempted to teach my son to go to the bathroom on the big boy potty.  I think I would have better luck training my cat to go to the bathroom on the toilet than Ayden!  Audrey was super easy compared to this shenanigan.  Either that or I am burying my memories of Audrey's potty training experience.

My take on potty training is I don't want to push it and totally discourage Ayden, so I was going to wait until he was ready.  You would think if the kid picks out underwear and says he wants to be a big boy, that would be the sign he was ready to start.  But then again that would be obvious and simple, and we all know that this is not how my wonderful son works.

Saturday, Ayden decided he was going to wear underwear, so immediately my stress level went through the roof because I had to constantly follow him around to ensure there were no puddles being left on the floor.  He did great the first hour.  He let us know the pee was coming out and then sat on the toilet and went.  Yeah!  Until I went to put his underwear on and well the pee had come out in his pants as well.  It was okay though because he was feeling successful.  Not even thirty minutes later he had an another accident, but he was sure to let us know the pee came out.  At least he was getting that part right.  :)

We decided to go and get him some new underwear as his undies are from his cousin and they are great, but I was thinking getting new undies would be a great motivator.  I put a diaper on him for the trip, as I could envision his pee coming out all over my shirt as I held him.  Probably a mistake because it may be seen as going backwards, but I did what I had to do in the moment. Mickey Mouse was his choice and we came home with seven new pair that needed to be washed.  However I am not sure why we bothered washing them, as we went through a lot of underwear the rest of the day.

The pee kept coming out.  It was like clockwork that I would remind him to tell us when he needed to go to the bathroom, and we even had Audrey helping with the reminding and asking, but every time he was set on the toilet no pee came out or he told us he did not need to go.  Guess what?  Five minutes later, that pee came out!  At one point in time both Tyler and I thought he was purposely getting the pee out because he thought it was okay to pee in his underwear because we were changing them just as we change diapers.  However, I am going to pretend that is not the case and he is going to catch on.

Needless to say, in 1 day, we had 2 successful bathroom trips and 8 pairs of underwear to wash, there is where the numbers come into play. I know that we will continue to try and allow things to go at Ayden's pace.  Therefore if you see me in the next couple of weeks, I may be a hot mess or have a nervous twitch, but by golly I will keep going because those darn diapers are expensive!