Audrey Update

Well friends about four weeks ago, sweet Audrey fractured her wrist in two places and yesterday we went in for our evaluation.  This whole process is new to both Tyler and I since neither of us have broken bones.  I knew the cast would need to be sawed off, and that an x-ray would have to occur, and I tried my best to mentally prepare Audrey but no matter how much we talked about it she was petrified.

I tried to explain to the gal who was going to remove the cast that Audrey needed to be walked through the process before actually going through the process.  I know she has sawed off a million casts, but gee whiz lady could you pacify the kid who already had tears in her eyes.  She brought out the saw said it won't hurt and I am going to cut on both sides.  Then she said mom will hold your hand on the other side and then fired up the saw.  Guess what?  Audrey lost her ever loving mind and literally began screaming bloody murder.  I had to hold both her arms and the lady sawed as quickly as she could, but I am sure the screaming set the entire office and herself into a panic frenzy.  Then of course once the saw was off the ginormous scissors were busted out and the screaming and crying began again.  And of course while all this is going on I had Ayden who was watching the process on his belly on the bench seat like it was an intense reality show.

After the cast was removed, Audrey was really looking at her arm, like smelling it and checking out the nastiness on the cast.  I am not sure why she was doing all this, but I wasn't questioning it because she wasn't screaming.  She goes for her x-ray and comes back to the room as if this was all super easy stuff and she owns the place.  We then proceed to wait for about thirty minutes for the doctor to review her x-ray and come and tell us the next steps.

The verdict was that her wrist is healing well, but it is not completely healed.  I figured we would get another cast because honestly that would make me feel better because then the wrist would be protected.  However it was decided to go with a splint so that she could bath easier and actually start some muscle work again with the arm.  I mean he is the professional and knows what he's doing, so I really didn't get a say.  Therefore, splint for another three weeks and he didn't want to see us for another nine months.  I am a little confused as I would think he would want to make sure it is completely healed before he sends us on our merry way, but once again not a doctor here.

We will stay off our tap shoes for another week and I will happily clean that poor arm that is flaking skin badly.  I will be constantly on her because now that the arm isn't completely immobile.  She is trying to do so much already with that splint on.  Looks like I will really need to work on my positive parenting language and not nag the poor kid to death.  I will continue to watch her with watchful eyes, but we all know that sometimes that doesn't prevent the accidents in the Evans house.

If I had more Courage...

Yesterday I watched a great video put on by MOPS Int. and it really got me thinking.  I wanted to jot a few ideas down of what I would do if I had more courage and was wondering what any of you would do if you had more courage?  It is a great thought provoking idea.  Imagine living your life to the complete fullest with nothing but courage encouraged actions.  Would you be happier?  I am not sure if it would give me the answer to end all be all happiness, however I think I would definitely gain more confidence and the snowball effect of courage would occur.

The hardest part though is writing it down.  Putting it out there for others to see because what we need courage for is actually showing our weakness which at times can be intimidating.  Since I can write this and not have to look at anyone in the eyes right after you read this, I think I will be okay, but I do know that i see some of you on a weekly basis so that makes me a little leary, however I need to put on my big girl panties and just be brave with this one.

If I had more courage...
     I would live more in the moment and embrace the memories being created.  I would stop worrying about the every day things that needed to be done, such as those pestering chores.  I would stop being concerned about being good enough for my children, and I would stop being fearful of the what could happens.   I would enjoy life each breath at a time, and I would be the parent I want my children to some day become.

If I had more courage....
     I would pursue my dream of writing.  I would no longer see it as a hobby, but pursue it as a career.  I would let go of the fear of not being good at something I may know little about.  I would let go of the fear of failure, and embrace this passion and move forward in the direction I was intended to do.

My list could continue to go on, but I think I will stop there as I don't want to reveal too much or lets be honest, I don't want everyone to suspett I am crazier than you have already decided I was.  But I hope this got you thinking.  Take time to watch the link and ponder...what would you do if you you had more courage?

Being a "No" Mom

Ugh...I have gotten back into that routine of being a "No" mom.  Seriously I have written about how I will probably never be a "Yes" mom, and I struggle with being a "Maybe" mom quite a few times, but I came across a picture today that made me realize how much of a "No" mom I have become in the past month or so.

Lately I feel like my poor kids hear nothing but me nagging to have them to stop fighting, whining, or to pick up their things.  I know at this point they have literally tuned me out because I have to physically touch them on the shoulder or raise my voice ten decibels before I even get a reaction.  Yes, this is my fault, but boy it is hard to not to just say the word "no" and not give an explanation why.  Or even tell the kids to "knock it off", and the poor kids don't even know what I am talking about except that I am barking an order at them once again.

In fact, when I was back in Michigan, Audrey was playing with Ayden and they were pretending to be parents.  Audrey said that she was not going to have a good day if her children wouldn't listen to her. Yep folks, that came out of my daughter's mouth and guess where she heard it from?  Guilty and shameful me.  I know my children are watching and listening to everything I do, but I still approach them on those days I am exhausted with an unfortunate negativity.  Talk about feeling the mom guilt now.

I cannot guarantee you I will not write more about being a "No" mom, but I can guarantee I am going to attempt to try and at least put a positive spin on the negative behaviors I want changed with my kiddos.

No one ever said this parenting thing was going to be easy, but boy, lately I feel it is getting harder and harder each day!

I think I need to print this off and hang it on the refrigerator and probably make an extra copy to carry around in my back pocket because yes my friends it has gotten bad in the Evans house.  Here's to wishing me luck, strength, and energy to become a better and positive momma!

Ayden's Accident

I am seriously investing in giant bubbles for my children!  Now I know from past experiences with Audrey and her accidents that we cannot always protect our babies, which is truly a hard concept to accept, but it is the life of a parent.  But regardless, I do not have to like this whole accident thing!

Yesterday I decided to take the kids to the park after I picked Audrey up from preschool.  It was a beautiful 55 degree day in January, and we were going to take advantage of the day and burn off a little steam.  We had to make sure we went to a park with no sand, which is far and few between here in Omaha, but we have our favorites.  Once we are at the park, it was perfect.  The kids were having fun, making new friends, and just enjoying the weather.  Audrey and Ayden decided to play their version of hide and seek, and that is when things got interesting.  The kids were on the other side of the structure, Audrey was up top and Ayden was walking under the structure.  Now I am not sure exactly how he hurt himself, but he bonked his right eye and side of his face on the only cement really around the structure.  What are the odds?  I was so worried about Audrey and I let my guard down with Ayden.  Sigh.....

I knew he was hurt pretty bad when he cried out, grabbed his face, and fell to the ground.  The moment I picked him up the bruise was instant and it was big.  Of course I scooped him up and took him to the car with the one arm bandit on my other side so that I could see exactly what needed to be done.  Aden was screaming and carrying on, not because he was in pain but we were leaving the park.  Seriously child, you may have a concussion and you are worried about this taking up your playtime?

After looking at his bruise, I gave him a water bottle half filled with cold water to keep the swelling down.  He wanted to go back and play, but I convinced him he had to sit on my lap for awhile to see if his bruise was going to get bigger.  The mom in me wanted to just take him to the ER to get him checked for a concussion, but with some text messaging to one of my nurse aunts I figured I wanted to just watch him since he wasn't acting out of the ordinary.  Of course on our drive home Ayden was tired, so instant worry that it is a concussion again, but then both kids were yelling back and forth at each other in the back of the car and I felt things were back to normal.  After finally getting a hold of my husband on the phone he decided it would be good to just watch him for the signs of a concussion and play it by ear.  

With a continued watchful eye, we made sure Ayden was still his crazy tornado self, but only with a little extra black and blue to the face.  After all is said and done, it was a simple accident, but one too many in the past six weeks.  I don't do well with all these accidents, and I am really considering shopping for large bubbles on Amazon. $180 plus shipping and handling for the bubble shown above, however I don't think that is the bubble I am looking for.  Maybe bubble wrap?

Never Say Things Aloud

Lately I have felt that the moment I say something the opposite of what I want to happen occurs.  It is like the universe is playing a twisted joke on me and I am not being humored at all!

Yesterday I was talking with Tyler about Ayden and how we could put away the door lock that we had on his door because he was only leaving his room in the morning.  However last night Ayden decided to begin his shenanigans at 4:15 am, and I knew I had spoke too soon the other day.  When Ayden wakes up I have realized he books his little self to Audrey's room to see if she is awake. Of course she was not awake this morning because most sane people are sleeping at this hour, and I was only able to get myself up out of bed to grab him after he had opened and shut her door a couple of times.  I rounded the not sleeping child into the guest bedroom and told him we would sleep together in there until it was a reasonable morning wake up time.  In the meantime I had to use the bathroom and get my good pillow, and simply told Ayden to lay down and I would be back in a few.  I figured he would just lay there and wait until I came back, but oh no we had to sing his rendition of "Mr. Sun" and I had to stifle his singing because I did not need the entire house up because it was just too early.

Once we got situated, Ayden tossed and turned, fluffed his pillow, talked to the cat, rubbed my face, pulled my hair, and kicked me while adjusting to the perfect spot about fifty times before the kid finally fell asleep.  I am not sure if he or I fell asleep first, but I was definitely done with the morning shenanigans.

I finally woke up to light streaming into the windows, when I realized it was Monday and I had to have Audrey to physical therapy.  Panic set in because it was 8 am, but realize sleeping beauty was still snoring away on his perfectly fluffed pillow with his legs sprawled across my chest.  I wandered around the house to find Audrey who apparently awoke before me.  Tyler had set her up with watching a show before he left for work that only apparently lasted an half hour because she was then watching a show on grave diggers on the History channel.  Really?  I am so glad she doesn't find trouble, however I am not sure her choice of shows was a good choice.

Needless to say today is a day for a coffee IV, and I am trying to remember as my tired self wants to just throw in the towel that these are memories that are making our lives memorable.

Impulse Purchases

If you know Tyler and I well, you know that we have issues with SAMs and Costco.  Not with the stores, but with our impulse buys.  We go in for specific items and come out with more crap than we need.  We went a couple days after Christmas to get our standard supply of fruit because we buy fruit all the time to keep up with the little monkeys in our house.  I know this is a good problem to have, but an expensive one as well.  We got sucked into the Christmas sales that were going on.  You know the one where they slash the prices and you buy more stuff than you truly need?

We were coaxed into the book section by the kiddos to pacify them for the continued shopping we needed to do.  They always ask to look at a book, I normally hand it to them and then we put it back and move on with our shopping experience.  We found some good deals on a few Christmas books, when the kids found these musical piano books.  I handed them over to them to keep them quiet for a few more minutes and then the please can we have this began.  I think Tyler and I were just frazzled that we told the kids they could have the books and we put the books that were on sale away because we were not going to get all of them. Both Tyler and I feel that books are always an investment for the kids so we normally buy books a lot, however our books and all the new toys have begun to overtake the house.  We are in the need of a serious purge, but that is another post.

Honestly I did not think these books would be such a favorite of the kids, but they are.  They play with them all the time!  Amazingly since the broken wrist, Audrey has even figured out that after you play the song it will light up the keys so she can play the song as well.  I caught her the other day playing and singing and realized she has a love for music just like her momma!  :)  I have to admit as well I play with the books a lot too.

Therefore our impulse buy at SAMs was a worthwhile one, which is surprising because not all our impulse buys are.  Maybe our New Year's Resolution should be to control our impulse buys?

Give me a month friends, I am sure I may be posting about how annoying the piano books are, but for now I am enjoying how busy it is keeping them.

Bitter Cold

Recently we hit a little cold snap here in Nebraska.  The windchill made temperatures dip way below zero, and schools and activities were being cancelled left and right.  Now that I have kiddos I get the reason for doing all this, however I cannot help but chuckle at these temperatures as I remember my times in Sault Ste. Marie, MI and of course those years in Alaska.  

I have come to the conclusion that we can never move to an area that is colder than here in Nebraska. Audrey hates the cold, like with a passion.  We have had multiple conversations as to why we should move somewhere warm.  However we then have the discussion that were there is warmth, there is normally bugs, which is another nemesis of hers.  She just can't win here...poor thing.

After all this talk about weather, I thought it would be a great idea to do a Throwback Thursday story about my teaching in Alaska.  I taught in a small, rural town in Anderson, Alaska, for four years.  There I learned how to adapt and experience life at -60 degrees Fahrenheit.  Now it wasn't that cold all the time, but that temperature happened.  I walked to school most of the time because it took too much effort on me and my vehicle to warm it up and drive it the couple blocks to school.  I just suited up real well, including sunglasses to protect those eyelashes from freezing.  I could have bought goggles, but I was just as cheap as I am today.  

People in Alaska are just tough.  Seriously I never was that tough, and definitely have become soft after I moved back to the lower 48.  Kids go outside for recess until -20, yes minus twenty!  I remember someone saying the first week of school I began teaching in Anderson that school was optional for kids at -50, but teachers still needed to report.  The bus had some trouble at those temperatures too, but I was always amazed how those highway kids got to school daily by that loyal bus driver.

Now that I have painted the picture of how cold it could be, I remember one day I was talking about my expectation for the science fair to my class.  We were all going to do this science fair, however we were struggling with understand the items that needed to be on their poster boards.  I figured we would just do our own science project going through all the steps start to finish.  I had not yet done the experiment of throwing water up in the air at -30, and it was just the right temperature to do this.  I think most of the kids in the class had done this experiment, however I was really going to push their observation skills on this one.  

Now I could go into details of what we did step by step and record the entire lesson, but that could take awhile.  I am surprised I can remember all these details though when I can't even remember a simple shopping list.  The outcome was great though that year because we all did a science fair project and understood all those important components.  

What it breaks down to is I would love to move back to Alaska with all its glory, but I have come to a conclusion that it was only a chapter in my life.  I loved my experiences and memories, which made for an awesome adventure in my life.  

                                                                      January 9, 2007
The group on the left was throwing cold water and the right group was throwing boiling water.  They threw the water at the exact same time, not sure how it worked so perfectly, and you can see the results.  I was not expecting the instant evaporation of the boiling water, with a few frozen droplets that fell to the ground.  Oh and check out that cold water.  How in the world did I manage to get that freezing process in mid air?  This must have just been a memory I needed to remember forever, and that I have, as well as those kiddos!

Take note at the sky.  This picture was taken at 12:30 pm, and you can see that the sun was already dipping below the horizon.

Making Shampoo

As many of you are well aware, as I have gotten older, things have just gone crazy with my body.  My struggles with acne as a grown adult is just too much, but recently my head is giving me just as much trouble, and no friends it is not the voices in my head I am talking about.

My scalp is molting.  Like chunks of my scalp are falling off.  I know gross right?  I tried putting coconut oil on my scalp and washing it off in the shower and that didn't really help.  I then thought I would try making my own shampoo since this shampoo recipe actually had a lot of components that naturally get rid of dandruff.  The recipe for Rosemary Mint Shampoo is as follows:

• 10 drops of Peppermint Oil
• 20 drops of Rosemary Oil
• 10 tbsp of baking soda
• 3 tbsp of olive oil
• 6 oz of Aloe Vera

Now I used this shampoo the first day and was happy with the results.  My hair did not feel heavy and it actually felt clean.  It was a little different than real shampoo as it was more "liquid" than the gel structure that most shampoos have.  On day two I decided I was going to continue with my new homemade shampoo and it seemed to go from good to bad real quickly.  I knew when I was rinsing my hair, I was not getting that squeaky clean feeling, but I got out of the shower anyway and dried my hair.  Holy grease ball is all I have to say.  My hair was disgusting.  It was greasy but soft at the same time, is that even possible?  And the molting and dandruff that was happening to my scalp was absolutely embarrassing.  

On day three I decided to add tea tree oil to my regular shampoo, as well as my homemade shampoo. I had to stick to the homemade shampoo, so I washed my hair and it was even greasier.  I broke down and used a pea size of regular shampoo and scrubbed the heck out of my scalp and oh the suds.  I had so many bubbles in my hair it was insane.  I went ahead and rinsed for at least ten minutes because we have a water softener and it takes forever to get soap out of your hair.  But the amazing thing was I could feel my hair was clean.  I allowed for my hair to air dry and the volume that I got and the softness of my hair was amazing.  Now I am not sure what happened in this hair catastrophe, but I do know my hair was feeling fabulous and my scalp had definitely calmed down.  

I will continue to work with this homemade shampoo, and I am sure it will have a few more adventures as well and I am sure I will share.  :)

Being Grateful

I have begun to count my blessings with a couple special gals in my life and I am loving it!  I got the idea from one of my mentor moms though MOPS, and I just cannot stop smiling that I began doing this challenge.  It is based off of Ann Voskamp book One Thousand Gifts.  I've only made it about thirty pages into this book.  However, since I began this challenge before reading this book, things are beginning to makes sense now of why I am finding three things daily that I am grateful for.

This is month number three of texting back and forth of our blessings daily and even though I get a little behind at times, I truly feel that the days I do stay on top of my blessings, I am just happier.  Maybe it is because I am realizing I am truly blessed to have all that I have, even though chaos or accidents happen around me.

This is a quick post today, but that is all the time it takes to count your blessings.  A quick couple minutes to open your eyes and see past the bad and embrace what you should be grateful for.  With that being said, I would love for anyone to join me in this challenge.  I find it easier to stick with it when I have some accountability.  Get a friend to join you in this challenge, we can FB message each other, text, etc.  I am more than happy to be that accountability you need so if you want to share, great, or you can simply journal daily and just reflect on those tough days.

Have a fabulous day!

Accident #2

Oh my sweet Audrey!  I do feel I have failed her as a mom as we took our second trip to the ER in the month of December.  I know accidents happen and I cannot protect my children from everything, but oh the mommy guilt.

It all started on New Year's Eve.  We had already had a great day.  I had went to work out, the kids had a blast at childcare, and we had just finished up lunch.  The kids were playing in the living room and I was sitting on the couch.  Audrey began getting out blankets and I had asked her to put them back, but she decided to continue with her plan.  I was at that point of picking my battles, and had asked her again to put them away, but she continued to ignore me.  She was at a point of freezing her brother's castle and she slipped on one of the blankets that was acting as a cape.  It was one of those moments that I cannot bare to replay in my mind because the scream that followed was a scream of pain.  She had slipped on her cape, her legs went out from under her and she fell hard.

Of course I ran over to her to check things out, and I was frustrated.  Not at her, but at the fact that I had just said to not get out the blankets and she got hurt.  Frustrated that it seems that the kids feel that I am just nagging verse trying to protect them when I ask them not do something.  She told me her arm hurt and I attempted to compare her arms to one another and it didn't appear to be any problems.  However when I had her try to get up using her right arm, the scream that followed proved something wasn't right.

I got her on the couch, and then called to try and get her an appointment at the clinic.  Of course they had one appointment that was ten minutes from the time it was.  That wasn't going to happen, so I decided I needed to probably take her to the ER.  I told her that we were going to go to the ER and she was sobbing.  In all this chaos, I managed to back a bag for the ER to keep Ayden entertained, sent Tyler an email of the dilemma because I couldn't find his new phone number, and made sure everyone was dressed.

I seriously contemplated going to a different ER verse the hospital right by our house because I was afraid they were going to call social services on me.  I mean two ER visits in a matter of three weeks, I am not sure what they look for to call for that, but to me that would be a red flag.

We got Audrey situated in a room, in which she was wheeled to in a wheelchair because she told the nurse it hurt to walk.  Really, this kid can get what she wants with more people than I know.  Once in the room, it was amazing how quick Tyler showed up.  I probably should have given him more details because he had the panic look.  After X-Rays, and her telling everyone she doesn't bath often, we were given the news of the fractured wrist in two places.  They splinted her arm and gave her a sling, and we were to go to a doctor at Children's Hospital on Friday to get the arm casted.

I could go on to explain the casting experience, which involved tears on my part, but I will spare you all the details.  However, she is now sporting her pink cast with pride.  She is a little sad that she won't be able to play basketball, but we are going to continue with dance with a few restrictions.  Her arm will be re-evaluated on January 29th, shorter than we had anticipated.

With this entire episode, I have attempted to look at the positives.  One being at least it wasn't in the summer where she would miss out on swimming.  The break did not affect the growth plates, so super bonus.  I can continue to look at the positives, but Audrey is the one who just radiates positive energy.  The kid has had all these challenges, but she just keeps smiling.  She continues her happy life, enjoys her brother (to a certain extent), and is determined to write with her left hand.  I wish I could always have the positive attitude my little girl has.  She is a true inspiration to me, and I have to remember that even though I feel I failed as a mom to protect her, the events that have happened to her are truly, simple accidents.

New Year's Resolutions

I have always struggled with New Year's Resolutions.  I love the idea of changing something for the better, but lets face it do we really stick those resolutions? 

Personally I want to make the change, but lack the dedication to complete the change throughout the entire year.  Life changes are tough and not for the weary.  I personally love the concept of getting in shape.  I feel that this is obtainable every year, but I always make this resolution and it just seems so broad.  I tried to eat healthy, but then the cookies that were the impulse buy seemed to be my go to snack, rather than that healthy choice.  I tried to count calories, but then I would become obsessed and my discussion of fat content of a meal was spilling over into my four year olds conversation.  I always had good intentions, but struggled to find the happy medium.

It wasn't until last year I began making this life changing resolution a reality.  I really found that working out was great for my mind and truly gave me an outlet to be someone besides mom.  It allowed for me to briefly be an adult and feel human again.  Lets face it though, I have two children, who take every last bit of energy I have and there are days that I don't have it in me to work out.  Isn't chasing them around all day enough of a work out?  However, it was those days that I found myself getting easily irritated with my children and I was lacking even more energy than the day before.  My working out is my mommy time out, and lets face it we all need those.  Sometimes my time outs are first thing in the morning when everyone is sleeping.  Other times I try to sneak in a workout after everyone is tucked in bed.  And most recently I have made that step into going to the gym and placing my children in childcare so that we all have that time out and once my workout is over it seems to be rejuvenating for the kids and I to be reunited after that hour.

As impressionable as my little ones are I have realized that if I am going to make a resolution it is something that needs to be obtainable and worthwhile so I can truly dedicate myself to it.  My children need to know that there is no issue with changing our lifestyles if needed, and that resolutions are okay to make, but don't always have to come at the beginning of the year, even though that is when many of us make them.  I think it is important also that our kiddos see us want to make these changes, but for the right reasons.  Children are watching our every move and how we handle life is how they see how they should handle situations.  So here is to my new resolution of sticking to my changes in a positive way and allowing the kids to see how my change actually keeps us all happy.