Growing Up

Every day I am amazed by the growth of my children.  But recently I have noticed that my little Ayden has just become a little man verse the little toddler I have always seen him as.  Now don't get me wrong we are still a threenager, however the other day all decked out in his button down shirt and jeans he looked grown up and I did not like it.  In all reality Ayden is our last biological child we will add to our family, and although I am so grateful for my two beautiful children that is a hard pill to swallow when your baby is getting to be so independent and grown.

The other day we were working on letters and I was just floored on how far along  he is when it comes to his knowledge of letters and phonics.  He wants to learn and eats it up as we give him knew knowledge, and the kid retains it, even though I think he may not be listening.  For example, when Audrey was three and had her conferences in February she still had struggled with a few letters to recognize in print, and to my amazement Ayden is right there.  Now Audrey could totally write her name, and with Ayden all we can do is make an "A" and spell his name.  That is where things get sticky though, I cannot compare the two kids.  They are so different and will continue to be different in so many ways.

Lets talk about physical abilities.  Ayden surpasses Audrey by far when it comes to physical stuff, but I think that comes with the territory.  He is a boy that loves to learn through discovery and play, where Audrey is okay with being the slow one.  Honestly I feel Audrey would love to be in physical therapy for the rest of her school career, but our pocket book is going to not be able to supply that dream if she wants to do other activities.  :)  Then there is speech.  Audrey was great and still is in her vocabulary and articulation.  With Ayden, we are in the process of getting him tested for speech this week because even though I can understand him, others around him struggle.  And for once I have found the proper route to go through, the school district, to get free services if that is the route we have to go through.  Now the even though I felt a little overwhelmed with the speech thing, I really cannot beat myself up over it.  Lets look at the situation, Ayden has a built in translator and speaker (Audrey) and he doesn't have to talk as much as she had to.  I know that Ayden is super smart, but if he needs help with his speech it can only help him become even more intelligent because then we all will understand him right?

I think I need to stop worrying about everything and realize that my kids are just perfect the way they are.  If they need a little extra help in certain areas, that is just fine, because at least we can get them the help they may need.  I am sure I could have benefited from a little physical therapy in my earlier years, but look at me now, oh wait lets not do that as I still run into walls.  But the bottom line is everything is going to be just fine and I need to stop overthinking it all and embrace the joys.

Life

Okay so let me be honest....even though I know that writing is a stress relief for me, it has totally taken the back burner.  The past few months I feel like I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off.  Shuttling kids here and there, making sure lunches and backpacks are packed, and trying to keep up with the daily things of life.  Seriously, just thinking about it just makes me exhausted, and that is what I am exhausted and I don't see any sign of things slowing down ever.  It is as if once both kids began school, my life revolves around school.  As an educator I should be used to this rat race, but as a mom I just am not getting the hang of everything as quickly as I would like.

I work with both kids on reading, letter identification, sounds and blends, one-to-one math correspondence, and I just want them to play.  Seriously the teacher inside of me should love the fact that my children have this drive, but at the same time, I want them to just play.  Play to learn and understand how to problem solve without having WW III in my home.  As much as I sometimes beat myself up because I tell my kids to color or play, instead of completing a craft or school related activity, I have to remember they are learning with all that they are doing.  But most of all, they are learning from me.  They learn by seeing how I react to things, how tired I probably must look as I run around trying to get all the things done on my to do list.

I probably should stop all this because in all reality my kids aren't going to remember if the chores all got done or if I made that fabulous meal, but rather they will remember that I spent time with them.  Time that I don't always feel I have because I have so much to do, but in all reality the rat race has just begun and can only get worse.  I need to embrace the time we have and the fact that the kids still want to spend time with me.  And I am going to be okay if I decide to go to bed after the kids go to sleep because lets face it mopping the floor at 8 pm is crazy in this season of life.  I know a little human will be awake at the butt crack of down to dirty that floor that I stayed up extra late to clean, so I should just save myself time and frustration and breathe and enjoy the life in front of me!

So when all is said and done, what I have wrote is all stuff I have heard and said before, but I really need to listen.  It is like this is my demon that I am constantly fighting, and it is about time I won instead of the demon!