Life

Okay so let me be honest....even though I know that writing is a stress relief for me, it has totally taken the back burner.  The past few months I feel like I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off.  Shuttling kids here and there, making sure lunches and backpacks are packed, and trying to keep up with the daily things of life.  Seriously, just thinking about it just makes me exhausted, and that is what I am exhausted and I don't see any sign of things slowing down ever.  It is as if once both kids began school, my life revolves around school.  As an educator I should be used to this rat race, but as a mom I just am not getting the hang of everything as quickly as I would like.

I work with both kids on reading, letter identification, sounds and blends, one-to-one math correspondence, and I just want them to play.  Seriously the teacher inside of me should love the fact that my children have this drive, but at the same time, I want them to just play.  Play to learn and understand how to problem solve without having WW III in my home.  As much as I sometimes beat myself up because I tell my kids to color or play, instead of completing a craft or school related activity, I have to remember they are learning with all that they are doing.  But most of all, they are learning from me.  They learn by seeing how I react to things, how tired I probably must look as I run around trying to get all the things done on my to do list.

I probably should stop all this because in all reality my kids aren't going to remember if the chores all got done or if I made that fabulous meal, but rather they will remember that I spent time with them.  Time that I don't always feel I have because I have so much to do, but in all reality the rat race has just begun and can only get worse.  I need to embrace the time we have and the fact that the kids still want to spend time with me.  And I am going to be okay if I decide to go to bed after the kids go to sleep because lets face it mopping the floor at 8 pm is crazy in this season of life.  I know a little human will be awake at the butt crack of down to dirty that floor that I stayed up extra late to clean, so I should just save myself time and frustration and breathe and enjoy the life in front of me!

So when all is said and done, what I have wrote is all stuff I have heard and said before, but I really need to listen.  It is like this is my demon that I am constantly fighting, and it is about time I won instead of the demon!