Today is Friday, and although I am grateful for a new day I am feeling this day already and my babies have only been up for an hour. I hate days that have me thinking, "I cannot wait until the day is over," but that is what today is. Which brings me to my topic on needs. I continuously ask my children and husband what they need. Tyler does ask me often what I need, but I always respond that I just need to get through the day. Maybe if I truly thought about what I needed, I wouldn't be wishing away my days.
It may be a woman thing, mom thing, season of life thing, I don't know what it is but it is how I have been living my life lately, and honestly I am tired. See this whole thing requires change, and lets face it, change is hard and requires work and energy (in which I am lacking right now). However, something has to give. I am exhausted, which I know there are so many of you reading this that are too, but I am letting my exhaustion make me not be the best I was intended to be. I snap at my kids for doing silly kid things. It is really harmless things, but because I am tired it is annoying the crap out of me and I just don't want to see someone wear a blanket on their head and shake their booty for the 80 millionth time. Yet, isn't that my job? Shouldn't I be encouraging my children and fostering their ideas rather than telling them to knock it off before they get hurt? Or currently my children are eating breakfast and fighting over how the water got into Ayden's bedroom. Who cares how the water bottle got in the room, and why is this even a discussion while we are eating breakfast? It is just exhausting from the little human chaos, but instead of attempting to change the subject about something else, I sit here annoyed and tell them to stop talking, and then get mad when they don't. Because telling a 2 and 4 year old to stop talking is the most rational thing to do?
So there it is, I need to figure out what I need before I turn into a very crabby person on a nonstop basis. I am not sure what my first attempt is going to be to make the big change, but I know my first baby step is to take the kids to the Children's Museum before I drop Audrey off to preschool. They have been asking all week and there is no reason why I cannot deliver this request. In all reality this is not going to be what I need because right now a vacation away is what I truly think I need right now so that I can think with some clarity, but that is not happening anytime soon. Therefore I will keep my kids busy, which then will in return buy me some leverage this afternoon of quiet time in their room and I will steal away fifteen minutes of reading for me. Wish me luck!
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