Just One More

Boy that title could mean so many different things couldn't it?  First off that title could be a great name for a bar, as I recall when I was a bartender how often I heard that phrase, but that is not where this post is going.

Yesterday, we had the little girl from across the street come over for a quick play date after Audrey got out of preschool.  She was excited and I was a little hesitant because I did not know if I could get all that I needed to get done with an extra kiddo in the house.  Yet, I was so happy to see that they played so well while I baked oatmeal bars, cooked dinner, cleaned the kitchen, and folded two loads of laundry.  In between all of that I was able to assist with the building of a leg princess castle, referee a fight between Audrey and Ayden, and clothe six princess barbies.  I have never felt so accomplished on a Wednesday afternoon after preschool as I did this Wednesday!

This then brings me to my next thought, would one more kid add to the chaos I already struggle to deal with, or would it make things easier?  I have heard that as you add more kids things get easier. Now I am not convinced of this because I have only experienced this greatness once, however now that I reflect upon it, whenever I have added another kiddo with my kids they seem to just all have fun.  Mind you the kids have all been over three that have been added to my two, this may be something to think about as well.  I honestly don't think adding a baby to my life would make it easier, but maybe an older kiddo would be okay?

I am sure if Tyler is reading this he is seriously shaking his head saying there is no way in hell that this is going to happen.  However, I wonder if this would help with my chaos?  I keep saying this, and maybe it is to help validate the thought of another kiddo, or maybe it is because I truly feel I need to add to our little family?

Lets face it, I am a terrible pregnant lady.  There is no glow about me, and I am normally found with my head in a toilet for at least six months.  But just because I may not have another kid of my own, I know I could love another kid if we were to adopt or even become foster parents.

It is amazing how certain events can go smoothly to sway your decisions that you thought were solid.  Not even a week ago I was completely okay with no more kids.  I feel that I can only be as good as I am with what I have.  There are days I feel defeated and not enough just for two kids, is it smart to stretch myself even thinner than I currently feel?  Only time will tell, and give me a month and my feelings will probably change, however it is hard to ignore the feelings I currently have.